Some years ago, I read an article which stated that the average person has 50,000-60,000 thoughts per day. Impressive! That’s the monkey mind for you–never at rest. The article went on to say that 80% of those thoughts are negative.* Just let that sink in for a moment. If that’s true, then each of us has 40,000-48,000 negative thoughts per day. That can’t be good for our self-esteem, emotional health, energy level, and state of mind.

I had told a friend about this article when I first read it, and we discussed it again yesterday. She told me that it had been a life-changing conversation–that since that moment, she’d made a conscious effort to monitor her thoughts and had noticed a huge improvement in her life. I was, to say the least, intrigued. Could monitoring my thoughts enrich my life as well? 

At first, I was skeptical. I consider myself to be a fairly positive person. Sure, I have my down days like everyone else, but I’m definitely an optimist–always looking for the silver lining and believing that things are going to work out. Then I remembered how much I complain about work and being busy and other things, and I decided to conduct a little experiment. For most of one day, I wrote down every thought I was conscious of having. (Yes, it was a lot of work.) I was stunned. The overwhelming majority (nearly 3/4!!!) of my thoughts were negative. Here are a few examples:

• “I’m so lazy.“ I decided to take a leisurely walk instead of going for a run, and most of the walk was spent on thoughts like that. Why didn’t I get off my butt and run? What’s wrong with me? Why is my energy so low?
• “I feel fat.” Man, do I ever hate this one. First of all, “fat” is not a feeling. Angry is a feeling. Hurt is a feeling. Frustrated is a feeling. “Fat” is a physical description, like tall.
• “I’m never going to finish this.” My writing progress has been s-l-o-w lately. I’m coming out of a very stressful time, and my creative energy has yet to rebound. Rather than allowing myself time to bounce back, I was berating myself for not having finished my current project yet.
• “I’m a bad wife.” This came because I didn’t finish cleaning the house. Yes, I know it’s not my job. Yes, my husband and I share the chores pretty much equally. But for some reason, I felt like a failure.
• “Our apartment is too small.” We live in a super-cool building on Capitol Hill in DC. It used to be an elementary school, but developers bought it and converted it into loft apartments. Everyone who comes to our place loves it and it’s in a fabulous neighborhood, but all I could think yesterday was that it didn’t have enough storage space.
• “I don’t have enough time.” How am I ever going to work full-time, get my runs done, do my strength training, get some writing in, spend quality time with my husband, have some kind of social life with my friends, maintain my blog, stay up to date on my daily blog reading list, clean the house, cook healthy food, stay in touch with my family, and retain some semblance of SANITY??? I just kept telling myself that there’s not enough time. (And we all know that’s a big fat lie, don’t we?)

My thoughts were filled with negative self-talk and complaints. It’s no wonder my energy is low! Being that hard on yourself is a lot of work.

I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but thoughts are POWERFUL. If Thomas Edison had never thought to experiment with electricity, we might not have lightbulbs. If Isaac Newton had never thought to ask why apples fell from trees, we might not understand gravity. There’s no magic to it–thoughts are the seeds of actions. And just look at the seeds I’ve been planting! I don’t want any part of that garden…

If you think of your brain as a sophisticated computer, then your thoughts are the programming instructions your conscious mind gives to your subconscious mind. When I think “I feel fat”, that message is delivered to my subconscious, which interprets it as a command. What happens next? My self-esteem and energy level plummet, I don’t feel like exercising, and I want to eat. When I think “I’m a bad wife”, my dutiful and literal-minded subconscious mind immediately begins to enact the command. I become distant, sad, and resentful. Voila! Bad wife. (This is the principle behind the Law of Attraction and The Secret. While I think The Secret focuses too much on thought and not enough on action, the principle itself is valid.)

Fortunately for all of us, we are in control of our thoughts–our thoughts are not in control of us. That means that we have the power to change these patterns. Here’s how to get started:

1. Become aware of your thoughts. You can’t change what you don’t recognize. Try keeping a thought log for a day (or an afternoon, or an hour–whatever works). Or try writing down every negative thought you’re aware of for a day. Look out for the thoughts containing “can’t”, “won’t”, “should”, “shouldn’t”, and “always” (e.g., “This always happens to me”), and keep an eye on those adjectives–fat, dumb, lazy, difficult, etc. You’ll be surprised by the results!
2. Turn the negatives into positives. Take “My job is too hard and stressful” and turn it into “I’m smart enough and strong enough to tackle the challenges of my job.”
3. Create a personal mantra. This is far less profound than it sounds. Choose a simple phrase that resonates with you. I kind of like “I am victorious.” It generates all sorts of positive imagery and emotions for me. Repeat that phrase to yourself when you notice negative thoughts popping up. Other phrases could be “I am fit and strong”, “I am happy and fulfilled”, “I am successful”, and “I am prosperous”.

What are some recurring negative thoughts you’d like to banish? What is your personal mantra?

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* I’ve searched and searched for the actual scientific study, but I can’t find it. If anyone locates it, let me know and I’ll add a link.