… into the future. And one of the most counter-productive things we can do is waste the precious time we have. How many hours a day do you spend watching TV? How about surfing the internet? Are you wasting your time reading celebrity gossip, or are you reading quality content that could change your life? Wandering through a shopping mall? What could you be doing with that time to move you closer to achieving your goals?

Let’s take me for example. I already know what I want to do with my life. I want to write novels. My hope is to get to the point where I can make a living solely by writing. I’ve mostly written (about 2/3 finished) THREE novels now so I know I’m capable of doing it, it’s just a matter of, well–doing it.

Knowing what my goal is, if you were able to look at a journal of how I spent a day, you’d expect to see a lot of time dedicated to writing, wouldn’t you? Well, you’d be wrong. What I’m about to share with you is really embarassing (and I hope, eye-opening). Here’s a journal of how I spent yesterday:

6:20am: Woke up. I had planned to get up and run, but decided to go after work. (I didn’t.)
6:20-6:35am: Did hair and makeup.
6:35-6:45am: Made breakfast and packed lunch.
6:45-7:10am: Ate breakfast and read the news online.
7:10-7:15am: Dressed for work.
7:15-7:35am: Drove to work
7:35am-3:00pm: Work. (I had to leave early to take our cat to the vet.)
3:00-3:20pm: Drove home.
3:20-3:50pm: Tried to get cat into cat carrier. Failed miserably. Cancelled vet appointment.
3:50-6:30pm: Caught up on blog reading, answered email, etc.
6:30-7:00pm: Cooked and ate dinner.
7:00-10:00pm: Watched TV while playing Spider Solitaire (I know, how depressing is that?).
10:00pm: Went to bed.

Wow. There’s approximately SIX HOURS I could have used for writing (or exercising or anything else that was remotely productive). I’m allowing surfing the web and watching TV to literally STEAL MY DREAMS. That’s not what I want, so why am I living my life this way?

A big part of the answer is fear. If I don’t ever finish a novel, I can’t fail, can I? If I never put myself out there and try to get a book published, then I can always hold on to my dream of being a novelist. By filling up my days with mindless entertainment and claiming that I “don’t have time” to write, I get to stay in a safe, failure-proof zone.

“I don’t have time” is a dreadful, poisonous phrase. Yes, we do. We DO have time for our dreams. Of course, many of you have responsibilities I don’t have to deal with–children or multiple jobs or caring for a parent. And honestly, I don’t know how you keep it together from day to day, let alone find time to pursue your goals. But I guarantee that if you sat down and wrote a detailed log of how you spend your day, you’d find some small amount of time–maybe 10 minutes here and 5 minutes there–that you could reclaim.

What are your major time-wasters? Let’s make a promise to each other that we’ll spend ONE HOUR a day working on something related to one of our life goals. Just one hour. If you honestly can’t find one hour, try 30 minutes. I promise that it will be time well spent.

This article was featured in the Personal Stories of Change Carnival and the Balance Your Life Carnival–stop by and check out the other great articles!

(Cross-posted at BlogHer)

(Cross-posted at BlogHer)

What do you want to be when you grow up? That’s a powerful question, isn’t it? What do you want to “BE”, not what do you want to DO. Describe the nature/purpose of your existence—God, that’s huge. And we ask this to 2^nd graders? It’s an important question—possibly THE question of your life. So, how would you answer it? (No, not “rich”. That doesn’t count. YOU wouldn’t be rich, you’d just have money. Those are very different things.)

Answering that question is the work of a lifetime. I’m sure it’s a topic I’ll return to over and over and over again. There are many ways to get to the answer, but the same method doesn’t work for everyone. Some people need to approach it through their emotions. They need to search for a purpose/vocation that resonates with them, that makes them feel. Others can approach using logic and reason. They are able to objectively analyze their strengths and weaknesses, and use analytical techniques to reduce the endless world of possibilities to that single, perfect one. There are those who wait for a spiritual awakening—these are the people who talk about feeling called to a certain path. Some lucky few just seem to know from birth what they want to do (like some people can eat whatever they want and not gain weight—annoying).

For the purposes of this article, we’re going to assume that you know the answer. But the thing is, you don’t know how to get from where you are to where you want to be. That’s what we need to figure out. Let’s say you want to be an astronaut—I had to reach for the stars, right? Couldn’t make it too easy!—but you’re currently working as a McDonald’s cashier. Looking at the distance from where you are to where you want to be, it seems absolutely impossible… or is it? How would you even know where to begin?

I’ll tell you. You’d start by doing research. You’d read the biographies of all 300+ astronauts selected by NASA so far. You’d probably learn that most of them hold PhDs in fields like physics or engineering, most were in the military, and most were experienced pilots. (You’d also learn that a few were just regular, average school teachers who entered through the Teacher in Space program, but will stick with the norm for now.) OK. Now you know what you need to do—it’s just a matter of doing it. You could begin by enrolling in college to get your bachelor’s (maybe in an ROTC program so that you could get that coveted military training) and taking classes toward your pilot’s license. You could apply for internships at NASA while you worked toward your PhD.

I know, I know—there are only a handful of American astronauts so why should you, a lowly McDonald’s cashier, be one of them? I say, why shouldn’t you? How do you think those astronauts got where they are? By doing exactly what we discussed.

OK, you say, but did I mention that I’m 57 and have a physical disability? There’s no way that NASA would ever choose me. That’s probably true. So let’s look at this from a different angle: why do you want to be an astronaut? Do you have a special passion for the moon, the sun, the planets, and the stars? You could live that love by being an astronomer (amateur or professional) or a tour guide at your local observatory or museum. Do you adore all things physics—dark matter, wormholes, and strange quarks? You could become a theoretical physicist. Are you fascinated with rockets and spaceships? Why not build them as an aerospace engineer? Maybe you just love the idea of being a pioneer, one of the few humans to ever escape this blue dot and blast off into the great unknown. You might find yourself fulfilled by deep-sea diving, cutting-edge research, or cultural anthropology.

What I’m trying to say is that, no matter what your dream is, there is a way for YOU to live it.

If you’d like help with your own personal McDonald’s-to-astronaut game plan, please visit my Services page or send in a question. Now get out there and LIVE!

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An email from a good friend just opened my eyes to what I really want to do with this website. My friend, like me and many women I know, is in her late 20s and is going through a mild “quarter-life crisis.” She feels unfulfilled in her current job, but the money is good and it’s hard to walk away. Deep down, she knows what she wants to do, but she’s afraid to do it, afraid to commit to it, afraid to say it out loud, afraid to even think about it (again, like me).

There are few things more terrifying than admitting to ourselves what we truly desire. If we don’t name it, we can flounder in the no-man’s land of “I don’t know what I want to do” for as long as we want. We can waste our days working just to pay the bills and never have to face the truth and make hard choices. Isn’t it much easier to plead ignorance? Then, no one—including ourselves—can expect much from us. We can’t fail at our dream job because we’re never going to try. (That’s not to say that I think we should up and quit our current jobs without a plan. I stand by my earlier advice—we’re adults, and we need to be self-sufficient even during periods of intense self-discovery.)

I think this is the real problem that faces most recent college grads—it isn’t that we don’t know what we want to do, it‘s that we won’t admit it to ourselves. You know that nagging, unsatisfied feeling you get when you think about joining the work force? That’s your secret passion whispering in your ear, begging you to speak its name. You know that desperate, trapped feeling you have as you’re getting ready for yet another day in the same, stupid, boring job? That’s your true calling urging you to stop being afraid, quit wasting your time, and take the plunge.

What is that little voice saying to you? What are you being called to do? What would you do with your life if you weren’t afraid?

I’ll go first. I want to write novels full-time. There, I said it. That’s what I want to do. How can I get there from where I am? More on that tomorrow.

I’d love your input on features that would be useful to you in your own personal development journey. Oh, and please send me a message and tell me what your secret dream is—let’s do this!

(Cross-posted at BlogHer)

I’m sure that you’ve all heard of The Secret, the bombshell DVD and book outlining the power of the Law of Attraction. I’m sure you’ve heard a few of the success stories—the man who manifested his dream home, the woman who cured her breast cancer, the couple who became multi-millionaires. And they did all this through the power of visualization, intention, and affirmation.

Well, I’m here to offer you something better than The Secret, a piece of wisdom that could make millions for you, trim your waistline, heal your relationships, and completely change your life.

Are you ready?

Here it is: “What you do gets done.”

This revolutionary little gem has the potential to make all of your dreams come true. Do you want to lose weight? Then DO something. Seek counseling to find out why you’re eating. Consult your physician to check for a medical cause. Modify your diet and increase your exercise. I guarantee you, if you do these things, the pounds will melt away.

Do you want to be a millionaire? Then DO something. Think about the unique skills and abilities you have that other people would pay to utilize. Maybe you’re an amateur inventor. Maybe you’re a great writer. Maybe you’re a wonderful listener. Identify your unique skill. Once you’ve done that, define your target audience, market your product or service, and watch the money roll in. Believe me, in this funny old world, there’s a market for everything from used panties to a friendly ear. Someone somewhere wants what you have and is willing to pay for it.

Visualizing your dream house, directing your every conscious thought toward realizing your goals, reciting affirmations, creating vision boards—these things could help you along the way. They certainly won’t hurt you. But it’s dangerous to think that your thoughts and intentions alone will magically manifest everything you’ve ever wanted without corresponding actions. People love The Secret because it sounds easy—just think really hard about what you want, put some emotion behind it, send it out into the Universe, and—ta-da!—the good fairy will deliver it to you.

The truth is that just about everything worth having requires hard work. If you don’t want something badly enough to work hard to get it, then in my opinion, you don’t deserve it and you probably never really wanted it.

Remember: What you do gets done. Works every time.

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