First, there was the total shock of finding out that I’m pregnant. Then there was the desperate scramble to find a new place to live and move everything we own in a matter of few weeks. Then there was the hormonal overload of the first trimester–morning sickness, bone-deep exhaustion, alternating fits of tears and rage. Then there was a week-long work trip during which I became so exhausted and dehydrated due to the aforementioned morning sickness that I fainted in the middle of a business meeting with a bunch of police officers. (Well, if you have to faint, better to do it around people with EMT training, right?)

The most difficult part of all of this has been dealing with my own expectations. I thought I was a pretty together person. I would have thought I could handle anything work had to throw at me. I would have thought I could cope with a spur-of-the-moment move. I never dreamed that I wouldn’t be able to both keep up with this blog, which I adore, and continue my new paid blogging job (which I ultimately wound up quitting–that hurt the old ego). I always thought I’d be the kind of pregnant woman who sails through without a hitch. I thought I’d be able defeat morning sickness solely by the resorative power of ginger ale and the force of my will. I thought I’d be exercising five times a week. Ha! I’ve spent approximately 5,787,829,035,782,943 hours staring forlornly at the bottom of a toilet and approximately 0 hours looking at the display of a cardio machine.

It’s just been…

Tough.

But now, with the second trimester (which many people call the “honeymoon phase” of pregnancy) starting tomorrow, the move completely done, and work settling down a bit, I’ve decided that it’s time to wrap up the poor-me pity party and get back to enjoying my life. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I think it will go something like this:

• Do a little less moping and practice a little more gratitude.
• Watch a lot less TV and do a lot more writing.
• Do everything I can to reduce stress and anxiety.
• Make a conscious effort to enjoy the experience of pregnancy (who knows–this could be my only shot at it).
• Let go of my expectations. I don’t HAVE to work out five times per week or post every day here. I can just do what feels right and doesn’t cause me stress or anxiety.

I’m sorry I’ve been AWOL for the past six weeks, but I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and it looks really, really good…

Good news:

• We got our first ultrasound–the baby looks perfectly healthy (and kind of like a gummy bear)!
• Work is gradually tapering back to a manageable level of activity.
• The morning sickness is (dare I say it?) finally starting to subside. I’m almost back up to my starting weight.
• My hair has stopped falling out. (Note: I was so stressed that my hair was falling out. Yes. It was that bad.)
• We found a place to live (hooray!) in our current building (double hooray!) which is bigger than the apartment we have now (triple hooray!) and all we have to do is move our stuff down two floors (hooray to the tenth!).

We’re moving this weekend, so I feel like if I can just get through the next week or so–move and get settled in–I’ll be able to get back to regular posting here. I’m sorry I’ve been so sporadic over the past few weeks!

I miss you all!

 And the icing on the cake of chaos that has been my life of late is this…

My husband and I rent a condo from a military guy who’s been stationed in North Carolina. We’ve been there for three years and love it. He just called my husband a few minutes ago to tell him that we have to be out in 30 days because he wants to move in.

Ha!

So we have until September 30 to find a place, pack, and move. Every weekend in September except for one was booked. I say “was” because we’re going to need to cancel things so we have weekends free for packing.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

The past couple of weeks have been a real whirlwind. My team at work has been simultaneously short-staffed and over-tasked, which has resulted in stress, long hours, stress, frustration, stress, missed workouts, stress, not cleaning the house, and stress. On top of that, I’ve got two websites to write for–Semi-Charmed Wife, which as you all know, has been woefully neglected of late, and the Examiner.

My husband and I have obligations/plans for the next four weekends, which gives me little time to recuperate/catch up/regain a tenuous relationship with my sanity and means that I have to squeeze all of my writing into the few hours between the time I get home from work and the time I go to sleep. As you can probably imagine, sitting at the computer is EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO DO after a long, stressful day at work of sitting at the computer.

(Note: It is exactly THE OPPOSITE of what I want to do, which is de-stress and/or sleep.)

Then there’s that whole pregnant thing. Yeah. Apparently, it makes me a wee bit emotional/hormonal, not to mention that I could easily sleep 16 hours a day if I were allowed to do so. And I’m a bit worried. I’ve lost some weight over the past few weeks (not much–just a few pounds), which my doctor assures me is totally normal for the first trimester, but I can’t help but wonder if the constant stress of the pressure cooker that is my life might have something to do with it.

My husband and I talked, and I’ve come to the conclusion that–contrary to what I want to believe–I can’t keep going at this breakneck pace right now. It’s not good for me, and I can’t imagine it’s good for the baby.

I’m going to talk to my editor at the Examiner and see if I can cut back to posting 1-2 times per week. Seeing as she just emailed me to request that I start posting every day (I’ve been posting 4x/week and am only obligated to post 3x/week), I have serious doubts as to whether she’ll agree to my request. If she doesn’t, as much as I’d hate to, I think I’ll have to resign. The alternative would be giving up Semi-Charmed Wife, and I get too much joy/inspiration from it to even contemplate doing that.

Though I know that this decision is in my best interests, I hate being in this position. It’s hard to admit that I can’t do something, and I’m struggling not to feel like a quitter. Again, I know intellectually that I’m doing the right thing, but emotionally, it’s a different story.

Have you ever been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? I need advice!

I’m second-in-command to a team of six at work. My boss’s wife just had her baby on Saturday, so he’s been out all week. Another one of our employees had his last day on Friday and his replacement is still waiting on her security clearance and can’t start for (probably) about six more weeks. Another of the employees just started on Monday, so she can’t really do much. That means that the work of six people is now effectively being done by three people.

On top of that, it’s one of the busiest weeks for our team since we started working for this particular client. I have 17 (not an exaggeration) written products due by Friday, which would typically take six people about three weeks. Yeah.

I’m going to take the rest of the week off from Semi-Charmed Wife, which I’ve never done before. Wish me luck & keep me in your thoughts! I’ll see you on Monday…

Zandria and I (along with my dear friend Amy & her friend) just took a strip aerobics class at The P Spot. I am not at all exaggerating when I say that the 45 minutes I spend rocking my hips and dropping it like it was hot were among the most challenging of my life.

Before I found out that I had someone riding shotgun, I was training for a marathon. Three weeks ago tomorrow, I ran 12 miles for my last long run. I’ve been seeing a personal trainer for months. I am, it’s fair to say, in pretty damn good shape. But this class? This class reduced me to a thigh-quivering mass of jello within about 5 minutes.

I have a newfound respect for strippers.

Here’s the instructor, Michaela (who is a certified personal trainer and owns her own business):

Yeah. Remember when I said I was in pretty damn good shape? Michaela is in absolutely frigging phenomenal shape.

She’s also very persuasive, as she managed to convinced me and my friend Amy to wear “the shoes” for the class. “The shoes” in question are 6-inch platform heels. I’m already 5′9″. You do the math. I looked like a giant awkward drag queen. Behold the shoe.

Both Zandria and I had worked up quite a sweat by the end of the class!

I would DEFINITELY go back–this was a phenomenal workout!

I and–I feel fairly confident making this assumption–many of my readers tend to take on too much. At any given moment, we’re juggling the demands of our primary job, perhaps an extra or freelance gig or two, our families, our friends and social lives, our marriages or relationships, our health and fitness, our hobbies, and our churches, charities, or volunteer organizations. Our plates are pretty darn full. Sometimes, we just don’t know when to say when.

Your husband (partner/friend/family member/coworker) may ask, as mine has of late, why don’t you just not do some of this stuff?

To which I reply by chucking my overstuffed day planner at him, laughing maniacally, and running off into the sunset. (Note to men: This is NOT what you should say to your overworked, overstressed wife who is balancing a full-time job, a part-time job–my Examiner page, which launched yesterday, a website, and an overpacked social calendar ALL WHILE BUILDING A HUMAN. I’m just saying, word to the wise.)

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Five months after having her son, former Bachelorette Trista Sutter appeared on the cover Us Weekly in a bikini with visible ab defintion and nary a stretch mark in sight.

A recent article at MSNBC questioned whether the insanely quick return to pre-baby condition by celebrity moms like Heidi and Trista helps or harms us mere mortals.

In one camp, moms like Catherine Lang-Cline are inspired by these hot mamas. “… I do find it inspiring that I don’t have to stay the flabby lump of goo that I feel I am now. Celebrities show that it’s possible to look good after having a baby. Granted, they’ll probably do it in half the time, but at least it’s possible.”

On the other side of the fence, some experts argue that celebrity moms set expectations that simply aren’t realistic for the vast majority of us who don’t have a nanny, nutritionist, chef, and personal trainer on call. These expectations influence our husbands, who wonder “If Christina Aguilera can lose the weight, why can’t you?”, and us, sparking disordered eating and exacerbating postpartum depression.

The question of the week is this: Are you inspired or discouraged by women like Heidi and Trista? How does their post-baby body success make you feel?

Speaking as a terrified mom-to-be with a history of disordered eating, I’d have to say that it alarms me. I don’t feel inspired; I feel intimidated. What if I can’t measure up to this impossibly high standard? I’d prefer to spend the first few months after delivery focusing on the baby rather than freaking out about my body (although I suspect a certain measure of freaking out is inevitable).

What do you think?

Anyway.

Hop on over to Examiner.com/dc and check out my page.

Oh, and let me know what you think of my first article!

My husband and I had a plan for the next few years. It was a good plan. It had us paying off all of our debts (including my student loans), aggressively saving for retirement, and setting aside enough cash for a 20% down payment on the home of our dreams, AND it left room for a few dream vacations–New Year’s in Argentina, a trip to the Dominican Republic with my best friend, and a cruise to Alaska.

God, I loved that plan.

And then…

Then…

Something unexpected happened* (something wonderful, but earth-shattering) that has totally shifted our priorities, rendering our perfect, amazing plan irrelevant given our new circumstances. (more…)