Do you ever look at your calendar or day planner and cringe at the number of appointments, chores, and other obligations? I’m doing it right now. For the past week (and for the next two), I’ve been feeling completely overbooked and overwhelmed. I have travel for work, travel for “fun” (nothing’s fun when you’re this stressed), family in town, going to visit family, and work/social evening engagements planned for pretty much three solid weeks.

When will I clean? Get groceries? Cook? Do some writing for a project I started with a friend? Work on my website overhaul? Exercise? Meditate? Rest?

I was doing some inner whining about this (Why am I so busy? I just wish I had more time!) when it occurred to me that I created this reality. Yep. With a very few exceptions, I’m the one who stuck all this stuff on my calendar. Why would I do that? Maybe it’s because I don’t like saying no so I agree to everything I’m asked to do.

Well… I’m sure there’s some truth to that, but looking at my calendar, I see quite a number of events that I initiated. That’s right. I actually suggested most of these commitments.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot???

I have a theory. Over the past few weeks, I’ve cut waaaay back on my typical unhealthy ways of coping with life and avoiding things I don’t want to think about. I haven’t been using alcohol to “relax”. I haven’t been able to use shopping as a source of distraction. I’ve been (with one notable exception) monitoring my food intake to make sure I’m not engaging in emotional eating. Could it be that I’m using overbooking myself as a replacement avoidance and coping mechanism?

If I’m too busy, I have an excuse not to complete the website renovation I want to do to align this website more fully with my message.

If I’m too busy, I have an excuse not to work on the writing project and risk failing or feeling “not good enough”.

If I’m too busy, I have an excuse not to put more time into meditation and cultivating awareness.

If I’m too busy, I have an excuse to come home and plop down on the catch–I need to relax, don’t I?

If I’m too busy, I never have to be alone with myself and my thoughts and feelings.

What do you think?

My typical Saturday goes something like this… (Lord, this is embarrassing.) Wake up around 7:30am and make breakfast. Surf the internet and catch up on blogs for a few hours (I know, I know). Go for a run. Come back and shower. Grab some lunch–eat while surfing the internet again. Write for an hour or two. Straighten up the house. Watch some TiVo’d programs (Battlestar Galactica, House, Law & Order SVU, The Office). Make dinner. Watch TV or movies until bed. Repeat on Sunday.

Sure, I get some things done (a little bit of writing, a run, cleaning), but the bulk of my weekend is frittered away on mindless entertainment. I didn’t truly realize the impact this was having on my life until recently.

A few weekends ago, my husband and I actually got out of the house. We woke up on Saturday morning, went running together, and came back and made breakfast. We walked downtown to go the DC Chili Cookoff. We met some friends and hung out there for a few hours. It wasn’t really our scene, so we left and walked to the movie theater in Chinatown, where we saw “Forgetting Sara Marshall” (off-color, but hilarious!). We had dinner at a sushi-go-round place and then went out for a beer. It was an incredibly fun day.

I woke up the next morning totally convinced that it was Monday. Why? Because we’d gotten out and done so much that Saturday felt like an entire weekend by itself. Sunday was like a bonus gift–we slept in, made waffles (with PB&J for me!), and had a lazy morning. Then we went out to run errands for a while. When we got home, I went over to a friend’s house and we cooked together. It was AWESOME! The weekend felt like it lasted forever.

The moral of the story: Don’t let time-suckers like TV and the Internet steal away your leisure time. You will get so much more life in your life if you’re out doing something than if you’re home sitting on the couch. My excuse is always, “I had a hard week–I’m tired and I need some rest.” But I’m here to tell you that my excuse is total BS. I felt far more energized after my action-packed weekend than I would’ve after a 6-hour TV marathon.

What are your biggest time-suckers and what are some things you can do to defeat them?

6WBMO Update: I’m still sticking to the exercise portion of the plan and doing my modified eating plan. Overall, I’ve lost two pounds since Day 1, BUT I’ve lost a total of 2 inches, so I’m guessing that I’ve put on some muscle!

Daily Routine Update: Can I tell you how much I love my routines? I LOVE my routines!!! They are really improving my quality of life. I highly recommend this for anyone who has a set of recurring tasks that need to be done every day and struggles with time management. It makes a huge difference!

For one of my 101 Things, I have to read three literary classics. I’m currently reading The Time Machine by H.G. Wells, and it just prompted a jarring realization. (If you haven’t read it and don’t want the ending spoiled, don’t click the hyperlink in the previous sentence. And don’t worry–I won’t give away any more than I have to in this post.)

If you’re not familiar with the book, I’ll give enough background for this post to make sense. An amateur inventor creates a time machine and takes a trip to the future. Humans have apparently evolved into small, frail, androgynous creatures (called the Eloi) who live a peaceful, leisurely existence. These creatures are childlike–they lack intelligence, curiosity, and creativity. The Time Traveller (he is never named) develops a theory as to why humans seem to have mentally devolved instead of advanced:

What, unless biological science is a mass of errors, is the cause of human intelligence and vigor? Hardship and freedom: conditions under which the active, strong, and subtle survive and the weaker go to the wall… [In the Time Traveller’s own time, h]umanity had been strong, energetic, and intelligent, and had used all its abundant vitality to alter the conditions under which it lived… Under the new conditions of perfect comfort and security, that restless energy that with us is strength [had] become weakness.

So the Time Traveller is saying that the reason that modern humans are intelligent, strong, inventive, and adaptable is that we have to be in order to improve our lives. We use technology, politics, art, science, philosophy, agriculture, etc. to alter our world and enable us to thrive. The Time Traveller postulates that, once humanity had achieved the pinnacle of technological advancement and social development, there was no further need for smart, creative, hardy humans, so they became soft and weak.

Makes sense, right? What’s so earth-shattering about that? Let me try to explain. Lately, I’ve been struggling with my writing. I find it too taxing after a long day of performing mental gymnastics at work to come home and be creative. Sounds reasonable enough.

BUT when I got out of the Navy at 22, I was waaaaay in debt from bad decisions and a messy divorce, I was uneducated (high school diploma), and I was really depressed. I refused to take money from my parents, so it was up to me to make my own way. I worked THREE jobs–a legal secretary during the day, a cocktail waitress at night, and a salesgirl on Saturdays & Sundays–to make ends meet. I ate peanut butter for weeks at a time. I worked my ass off (literally–I lost about 20 pounds in 2 months) and started taking classes at community college. How did I manage to do all that? I had no choice–that’s how.

After I got my Bachelor’s, I knew I wanted to go to grad school. I didn’t want to take out as many student loans as I had for undergrad, so I wanted to work full-time. I wanted to finish in two years, so I had to go to school full-time. So I worked 45 hours a week at a government agency, worked at a coffee shop on the weekends, and took a full load of classes. For two miserable years. Why? Because I had to.

Now, I’m totally financially secure (thanks mostly to my husband). I have a very comfortable life, and I don’t have to struggle for anything. I can pretty much have whatever I want with a minimum of effort (outside of the effort of working full-time). Much like Wells’ Eloi, comfort and security seem to have dulled my edge. I’ve lost the willingness to strive. Does that make sense? Achieving success has diminished some of the very qualities that made me successful.

I’m asking for your help now. What can I do to change this? How (short of quitting my job, which my husband and I agreed I won’t do right now) can I create an environment that requires enough struggle to inspire me to give my all without throwing away everything I’ve worked for?

Have you noticed this in your life? How do you combat the complacency that comes with success?

… what you can do today. Yes, it’s another one of those nuggets of wisdom hiding in our common clichés and sayings. And what is this one telling us? STOP PROCRASTINATING. Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell–it’s just that this is a message most of us are very resistant to hearing.

Speaking for myself, when it comes to work (and school, when I was a student), I always get things done early. The second I’m given a professional or academic deadline, I’m off and running. I usually have my work done well in advance of the due date. My colleagues and former classmates would tell you that I never procrastinate. But when it comes to my personal goals… well, let’s just say that it’s a bit more challenging. For example, I want to stick to a regular regimen of writing, but I always have laundry to fold, or TV to watch, or a bathtub that simply must be cleaned AT THAT VERY MOMENT.

Hi. My name is Jen, and I’m a closet procrastinator.

When procrastination kicks in, it’s usually for one of the following reasons:

• Perfectionism. My old archenemy. This is especially bad with my writing. I’ll fuss over one sentence for HOURS, putting off making any real progress with the project I’m working on. Why? Because it’s not perfect yet. Obviously, this completely undermines my goal of moving forward. What can I do about it? Give myself permission to be less than perfect. Refuse to edit my work until I hit a predetermined milestone (e.g., 30 pages). Make a conscious effort to let go.
• Resistance. I’m a huge planner. I make schedules that I must adhere to, especially with running. I tell myself that I have to stick to the schedule. I must. It’s not optional. Then my inner teenager gets all rebellious and, the next thing I know, I’m smoking in the proverbial girls’ room between classes. What I need to do is convince myself that I want to stick to my running schedule, that it’s something I passionately desire to do. See the difference?
• Discouragement. My goal is to write a book, so I should focus on the end point, right? Wrong. Anyone who’s ever written with a word count in mind knows how intimidating a blinking cursor can be when you’re 10 pages in with 290 to go. I could avoid feeling discouraged and frustrated by breaking my goal down into manageable bites. Ten pages of a 30-page chapter is 1/3 of the way done. Much better!
• Lack of instant gratification. When I get home from a hard day at work, I have a choice as to how I’ll spend the night. I could do some writing, which requires mental and creative energy, or I could curl up in the recliner with a good movie and a glass of merlot. What’s more tempting to you? What I need to do is give myself an incentive to work toward my goals. A great way to do this is to implement a reward system. Maybe for each page I write, I put $10 in the Macbook fund (and I reeeeaaaallly want a Macbook). Or maybe I treat myself to a nice dinner at the end of every chapter. The bottom line is that I need to do something to make writing immediately rewarding.

What tasks do you put off until the last minute? Do you have any strategies for ending procrastination?

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(Cross-posted at BlogHer) 

Today as I was struggling to get my writing done, answer my emails and phone calls, draft an entry for this blog, and manage my workload at the office, I really wished there were more hours in the day. There’s so much that I want and need to do, and there’s so little time. For example, I’d love to do some more writing after work, but I’m heading directly from the office to my volunteer commitment. Maybe tomorrow evening? Nope. I’ll be at a celebration dinner for a friend who just started a new job. Arrrrgh–I need more TIME!

Then it occurred to me–why not just make more?

There are a few ways to go about this magical feat:

1. Wake up earlier (if you’re a morning person) or go to bed later (if you’re a night owl). You’ll be adding an extra hour of time to the period when you feel your most bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Early birds may find themselves going to bed a little bit earlier. That’s OK–early birds aren’t at most productive at night any way. Likewise, night owls might find themselves sleeping in. Also fine.
2. Eliminate distractions. You know the hour you spent playing Spider Solitaire yesterday? Remove the game from your computer. Your marathon blog-reading sessions (I mean, you HAVE to catch up on all your e-friends)? Trim them to no more than 30 minutes. Your nightly ritual of watching three Law & Order SVU reruns in a row (my personal addiction)? Allow yourself one episode, tops.
3. Work smarter. Let’s say that I’m in the middle of editing a document for work. I’m rolling right along when my blackberry goes off–new email. I stop what I’m doing and reply. Now where was I? Hmm… I’ll just reread the last paragraph I was working on and– Phone rings. I answer it and spend 15 minutes discussing an unrelated topic. OK, now back to my document. This is THE WORST way to work. Women are excellent multitaskers–it’s one of our natural advantages, but don’t multitask yourself into non-productivity. Do one thing at a time. ONE. Give it your complete, undivided attention. You will find that you work much quicker and more efficiently than when your brain is bouncing around like a ping pong ball.
4. Plan ahead. Cook a week’s worth of lunches and/or dinners on Sunday afternoon. This will save you AT LEAST an hour a day. Organize your errand-running so that you aren’t driving back and forth across town. Make daily and weekly prioritized to-do lists. It’s amazing the difference that planning and organization can make in your life.
5. Learn to say no. If you find every night of your week filled with social commitments, activities/events for your kids, volunteer obligations, etc., then you need to learn how to say no. It’s tempting to try and do everything for everyone who asks (especially your kids), but the truth is, you just can’t do it all. Be selective.

Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to start waking up at 5:00am every day (yes–even on the weekends). I already wake up at 6-6:30, so it’s not like it’s that huge of a difference. This would allow me to get an extra hour of writing done in the morning. The only time that I will sleep past 5:00 is when I’ve been up later than 11:00pm (I know that I need at least 6 hours in order to be functional).

What can you do to create some extra time?

* Day 15 was a success!

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