I originally posted this on Sunday, but I’m reposting it today because I finally have the forums working (read on for more info)! I hope you’ll join in the weekly goal support group. If you’re already participating, drop by the forum and leave an update. There’s also a link to the forums in the right hand sidebar.

One of the most important things you can do to facilitate achieving your goals is to find support. Want to lose weight? Join Weight Watchers. Want to quit drinking? Attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Want to write a book? Join a writers’ mutual critique group. Sharing your goals with others is an excellent way to get support and encouragement. Stating your goals in a public forum also adds the element of accountability. All in all, it’s a great way to boost your goal-achieving efforts.

Based on an excellent suggestion from Leah, I’ve added a new feature to Semi-Charmed Wife (along with the excellent redesign my husband did yesterday–LOVE IT, baby!). In my right-hand sidebar, you’ll find a link labeled “Forums“. What I’d like to do with the forums is start a weekly goal support group.

Every Monday (or at any point you want to start–feel free to jump in for this week!), we can all log in and post our goals for the week. You can post any type of goals from organizing the kitchen cabinets to finishing a knitting project to losing a few pounds to doing some creative writing. After you post your initial goal, you can check back in every day to update everyone on your progress and offer advice, encouragement, and suggestions to others. You have the option of creating an account for the forum using the “log in” link in the right-hand sidebar, but you are also free to post as a guest.

I’m really looking forward to having your support as I work toward my goals, and I’m looking forward to hearing about your goals and supporting you however I can. Be sure to stop by and post your goal!

If there are any additional forum topics you’d like to see, send me a quick email and I’ll add them.

… make lemonade. Or, in my case, cry about it, b*tch to your husband, throw a minor tantrum, melodramatically insist that you cannot go on another day, grudgingly accept your circumstances, and make some damn lemonade. With Splenda, because you haven’t been working out lately.

I am officially having ONE OF THOSE WEEKS. My job is… oh, where to start? Ah. Completely frigging miserable. It is preposterously stressful, contentious, combative, and frustrating. My husband is applying for jobs in another city, so there’s a chance I’ll be able to quit soon, but I can’t really start applying for other jobs because I don’t know how long we’ll be in the area. So I’m trapped for the moment. Then one of my friends did something incredibly selfish and hurtful. She’s completely unapologetic, which makes it even harder to get over. My weekends are booked from now through April and I feel like I never have any time. Something is going on with my website–I can’t get the forums working and I have to write my posts in HTML. And on top of everything, my husband has had to travel a lot for work lately. He’s out of town right now and thus unable to tell me that I need CALM THE HELL DOWN.

Deep breath.

OK, I think I’m done whining now. But seriously, what should we do when it seems like everything is going wrong? Is there any way to make it easier on ourselves? Here are some strategies I’m going to try:

• Recognize that you are in control of your life. Even though it may feel like I’m trapped, I’m truly not. I could walk up to my boss right now and quit and there’s nothing that anyone could do to stop me. I am consciously making the choice to continue in this job. Owning that choice somehow makes all the B.S. easier to bear. Check out Frugal Dad’s great article on choice for more on this topic.
• Be grateful. I am so fortunate. I have a wonderful, supportive husband who believes in me. I have a wonderful family–including an adorable niece who turns one in a few weeks. I have awesome friends. I know what I want to do with my life and I’m working toward it. I have a job that pays well, and I love my boss and coworkers (the client, on the other hand, NOT SO MUCH). Wow. Even just writing this paragraph has hugely improved my mood.
• Practice letting go. I have no ability to control the INSANE behavior of my client. I can’t make my friend apologize for being inconsiderate. I have no power to change the mysterious inner workings of my website (I leave that to my husband). I can’t change these things, so I may as well let them go and focus on what I can change. I can change my attitude. I can change my reactions. I can change my environment. I can change how I cope with stress. If you can’t change it, let it go.
• Stop complaining. For the last week or so, I’ve spent a few hours every day complaining about work. What does this do? It reinforces the negative feelings I already have and focuses my attention on everything that’s going WRONG instead of enjoying the things that are going RIGHT. This does me absolutely no good.

Seriously. Just writing this post has made me feel a thousand times better–I can’t imagine what an improvement I will feel from actually implementing these suggestions!

For those who would like to participate in the Weekly Goal Support Group (my husband hopes to have the forums up and running tonight), stop by the original post to leave a comment and post your goals or let us know how you’re doing so far this week. And I’ve successfully completed 20 days of my 21-Day Makeover–tomorrow is the final day!

This post was included in The Next 45 Years Personal Development Carnival–check out the other great entries!

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