As I’ve posted before, I’m not entirely convinced by The Secret and the Law of Attraction. I find it difficult to believe that all diseases and hardships are the result of our own thinking. Did a rape victim attract that crime? Did a newborn with a heart defect attract that condition? Did the people of the Sudan attract the war in Darfur? I don’t think so. I’m sorry, I just don’t.

I also suspect that The Secret will encourage and implicitly grant permission to some people to think/dream rather than do/act (which was the focus of my first post on the topic), and I believe that’s destructive. How many people will spend (or have already spent) hundreds of hours going through magazines to find vision board pictures when they could be using those hours to actually do something in support of their goal? Vision boards and affirmations are wonderful, but they need to be accompanied by real-world actions.

That said, however, I do believe that our intentions are very powerful. For example, if I sit down to write a story or a blog post but my heart just isn’t in it (if I’d rather be running or reading or relaxing than writing), then I’m not fully committed to what I’m doing and the result will be less than optimal. But if I sit down with the strong, pure intention of writing something great, the process seems so effortless. The trick seems to be in getting myself to a place where I fully commit to an activity on all levels–mental, emotional, and spiritual.

In an absolutely superb article about intention-manifestation, Steve Pavlina writes:

If you want to achieve a goal you’ve set, the most crucial part is to DECIDE to manifest it… If you don’t understand this simple step, then you will waste a lot of time. Step 1 is to decide. Not to ruminate or to ponder or to ask around and see whether or not you can do it…

Time and again I’ve seen evidence that not only people, but the universe itself, can sense a lack of commitment to a goal… If your consciousness is divided against itself, do you think it will commit all its internal resources to your goal? Will your subconscious give you all the energy and creativity it possibly could, or will it hold back?… The universe itself works on the same principle. Think of it as the superconscious mind. When you’ve made a clear, committed decision, it will open the universal floodgates, bringing you all the resources you need, sometimes in seemingly mysterious or impossible ways.

Whenever you want to set a new goal for yourself, start by setting it. Take the time to become clear about what you want, but then just declare it. Say to the universe, “Here is the goal. Make it so.”

I re-read this article a few days ago, and it really struck a chord with me. I decided that I’d like to try a little intention-manifestation experiment, and I’d love for all of you to play along with me. Here’s how to participate:

• Find a place to be alone. (You’ll need a pencil and a piece of paper.) Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and relax.
• Ask your Self what you’d like to achieve/manifest by July 31.
• Open your eyes and start writing ideas as they come to you.
• Once you have a few possibilities, select the one that you feel most passionately about. It also needs to be something you can truly believe in. (e.g., If your goal is to manifest $1 million and you can truly and without doubt believe it will happen, then go for it! If you have doubts, revise the goal until you believe in it.)
• Write a specfic goal statement, which ends with “Make it so!”.
• Read the statement out loud with as much feeling and conviction as you can muster. Feel that mental “click” as you DECIDE to achieve your goal.
• Leave a comment or send me an email to let me know that you’re participating (you don’t have to disclose your goal).
• Be on the watch throughout the month of July for the manifestation of your goal. It may not appear in the form you’re expecting!
• Report back and let us know how you did!

Here’s mine:

“My goal is to secure a paid writing assignment unrelated to my full-time job by July 31, 2008. Make it so!”

Are you playing along?

A close friend of mine called me yesterday afternoon to tell me that the guy she’d been seeing had just ended their (somewhat casual) six-month relationship. Like any good girlfriend would, I picked up a bottle of cabernet and headed over to her place. She was absolutely devastated, which surprised me as I hadn’t realized that her feelings for him were that strong.

“Are you in love with him?” I asked.

“What?” she said, surprised. “No! God, no. I’m just…”

“Hurt?” I guessed.

“No,” she said. “Actually, I appreciate his honesty. We both knew it wasn’t going anywhere, and one of us was going to have to end it at some point.”

“So what’s upsetting you?”

“I just feel like this is not my life. This is not the life I’m supposed to lead. I’m not who I’m supposed to be, and I’m not doing what I’m supposed to do.”

My friend, like me, is a defense contractor. She feels like she’s treading water, a tiny cog in the unimaginably huge machinery of the federal government. She feels like what she does all day doesn’t mean anything, like nothing would change at all if she just stopped doing work (and I know exactly how she feels!). The end of this relationship was a wake-up call for her.

I asked her a few questions to try and get at what it is she feels she should be doing. After talking for a while, she came to the realization that she’s very drawn to disaster relief and the first responder community. This is something she’s always known deep down but had never admitted to herself because it doesn’t match her education and work experience. We came up with a list of options for her to investigate, and by the time I left last night, she was totally renewed and invigorated about the world of possibilities that had opened up before her.

It felt great to know that I had been able to help and support her as she tackled The Question (a/k/a, “What am I supposed to do with my life?”). More than that, it re-energized me in my pursuit of my own life’s purpose. I came up with my own plan to contact some people I know who teach in the DC school system and to begin preparing for the PRAXIS.

Are you living the life you’re supposed to lead? If not, what do you plan to do about it? I’d be happy to support you in your journey however I can!

One of my life goals, something I absolutely must do before I die, is to run a marathon. I’m currently training for the Marine Corps Marathon, which will take place on October 26. I’ve tried training for a few marathons before, but I’ve always gotten hurt about 2/3 of the way through the training process and been unable to run the race. (Not this year, though. Nope. This is THE YEAR OF THE MARATHON.)

I’m doing everything right this time around. I’m following a training program and being careful not to overdo it. After years of avoiding strength training like the plague, I’m taking personal training sessions, which will strengthen my hamstrings (which are my most injury-prone area) and keep me from getting hurt. I’m eating well and getting plenty of rest. I’m drinking water like it’s going out of style.

Oh, and I’m doing regular visualization exercises.

That’s right. Every single time I go for a run, I imagine myself running the last few miles of the marathon. (I’ve seen the MCM a couple of times, so I’m familiar with the course which makes this fairly easy to do.) I imagine the crowds of people lining the course. I picture my husband, my parents, and my sister screaming my name as I run by. I visualize myself running across that finish line, feeling the elation I’ll experience when I achieve this lifetime goal. Visualizing that moment gives me a huge surge of joy and energy and gets me through the longest of long runs.

Interestingly enough, visualization also strengthens muscle memory. I read an article (which, naturally, I can’t find now) about a tennis player who was injured and out of the game for a few months. As he was recuperating, he engaged in hours of “mental practice” every day–the same amount of time he’d dedicated to physical practice. When he was finally permitted to return to the court, his doctors were amazed to find that he was playing at 90% of his peak performance level. Amazing!

I’m sure you’ve all heard the old chestnut, “If you can believe it, you can achieve it.” And maybe you’ve also heard “I’ll believe it when I see it.” If you put all that together, you get this: If you can see [visualize] it, you’ll believe it; and if you believe it, you’ll achieve it. It makes sense, doesn’t it? I mean, if you can’t even imagine yourself achieving your goal, how will you ever have the drive, self-confidence, perseverance, and motivation to cross that finish line?

Do you have a visualization success story?

Regardless of where we are in life, we all have goals. A college student might want to get an A on her psych final. A young professional might want to pay off her credit card or get a promotion. A fitness buff might want to finish a triathlon or complete the 100 pushup challenge. Purpose-driven goals might include writing a book or starting your own business. Most of us have a running list (mental or written) of things we want to accomplish, and we’re slowly but surely working toward achieving those goals.

But we all have those days, don’t we? You know the ones–when you’re PMSing and it’s raining outside and you just don’t feel like running. Or when the baby kept you up all night and you argued with your husband and your heart’s just not in studying for the MCAT. Or when you decide to eat lunch out for the eleventh day in a row (even though that money could be paying down the Visa) because it’s just so much work to pack one.

I’ve been having more than my share of those days lately, and I’m looking for more ideas of how to keep myself motivated. I’d like to build up a motivational “toolkit” that I can draw upon when I’ve got a case of the blahs.

Here’s a list of things that motivate me now:

• Music. When I hear “Eye of the Tiger”, I can’t help but feel pumped up.
• Accountability. Knowing that I will post about any disordered eating struggles is a big motivator for me to stay on the healthy path!
• Having someone depend on me. If I commit to meet a friend at the gym, I can’t stand the thought of being late or cancelling. I’ll get there no matter what!
• Quotes. Like this one… “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” (Winston Churchill)
• Success stories. I love to hear stories about people who’ve beaten the odds and overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles to achieve their goals.
• Rewards. Knowing that I’ll get something special for meeting a goal gives me something to work for and look forward to.

What do you recommend? What really gets you going?

I just wanted to thank you all for your comments and encouragement yesterday–I really needed it! The rest of the day went perfectly. I ate well. I exercised. I didn’t give in to shame and self-loathing, which is a real victory in and of itself (as anyone who’s ever had a relapse with any kind of addictive/compulsive behavior can tell you). As much as I didn’t want to write about what happened (and I reeeeeally didn’t), I think it made all the difference in helping me move past it. Putting it into writing made it less threatening and more confrontable somehow, and my hope is that it will be helpful to others who deal with disordered eating.

After some reflection (and after some great advice & insight from you), I think my mini-backslide was caused primarily by two things. The first is alcohol. As many of you pointed out, it lowers inhibitions, diminishes judgment, and screws up blood sugar. It put me in a chemical state that was more conducive to both disordered eating AND disordered thinking. I’m done with that, thankyouverymuch. No more booze for me.

The second factor was one that I didn’t recognize until Kelli and VeryBadCat pointed it out to me. I’ve been working on releasing my “Fighter” label, which entails undoing about 30 years of internal conditioning. As perverse as it sounds, I get anxious when things are too easy. Could it be that I created a little battle for myself to fight and win? Maybe that’s why I didn’t learn from Friday night and repeated the same behavior on Saturday?

Anyway, thanks to all of you for your comments and emails. I’m feeling so much better! Usually, I’d say that I’m ready to get back in the fight, but in the spirit of change, I’ll say that I’m at peace with who and where I am and I’m ready to accept what today has to offer me.