Thanks to Kelli at Cafe Kel for nominating this site for the Insightful Blog Award!!! This just made my day!

  Awarded by
  Kel
  to SemiCharmedWife  

As you already know, I’ve struggled with disordered eating for years. I’ve hated myself, abused myself, lectured myself, and punished myself. It has NOT been fun. But I’ve made incredible progress over the past few months, and I feel like I’m in a better place than I’ve ever been with my eating. Thanks to all of you for your support!

Body image, on the other hand, is something I’m still struggling with. Like most disordered eaters, I’m unable to see myself realistically and objectively. If you show me a picture of myself, I focus on the flaws. My nose looks crooked. My arms are shapeless. My butt looks saggy. You know how that story goes. It got even worse after the masectomy. Then I was convinced that everyone could tell that I had implants. Did they look too obvious? Too big? Too round? It never ends.

When I came across Suzanne’s blog entry about the Swimsuit Brigade for Honest Photos–which is her effort to fight back against the media’s ridiculously unrealistic portrayal of the female body–I was incredibly moved. Much to my surprise, I found myself wanting to participate, to put my picture out there and say, “Hey, world–this is what I look like. It’s real and it’s OK.” I know how it feels to think that the way you look isn’t good enough, and I wanted to support this woman’s very brave effort to show women that we look JUST FINE thankyouverymuch.

So here I am.

In all my glory.

Let me know if you decide to participate–it’s terrifying (I freely admit that I almost deleted this post about six times), but it’s also very empowering and liberating.

Viva the female form!

On Monday, I posted about feeling like I’m not living the life I’m supposed to lead. I got quite a few emails from readers who feel the same way. It’s a frustrating feeling, isn’t it? It’s this nagging sensation that something’s not right, that you’re somehow being robbed of experiences you should be having and satisfaction you should be feeling. I’ve been thinking about that feeling and what I can do to change it pretty much constantly since I wrote that post.

It seems that many of you are frustrated because you not only feel like you’re not living the life you’re supposed to lead, but you also don’t have a clue as to what that life might be. I share your frustration. I have some ideas about what the life I’m supposed to lead might include–teaching, writing, helping people, broadcasting my “you can do it!” message–but I don’t know exactly what that life looks like. It’s like I can see the fuzzy outline of it, but I can’t make out any of the details. Argh! How am I supposed to make it happen if I can’t see what “it” is??

This whole inner dialogue made me realize that it’s really important to have a dream. Daydreaming might not strike you as a personal/career development exercise, but it is. It helps us identify what’s important to us, what’s missing from our lives, what we’d like to change, who we’d like to be, what we’d like to do, etc. Daydreaming will help you build a detailed picture of the life you’re supposed to lead which will, in turn, help you identify actions you can take to get there.

Take a few minutes some time today and let yourself daydream about your perfect life. What are you doing? Where do you live? Who are you with (personally and professionally)? Where do you work? (For example, in my personal daydream, I see my husband and I owning a REAL HOUSE–not a condo–with a yard. I work from home on this website and other writing projects, including a book. You get the idea.) Let your imagination run wild, and see where it takes you.

What is your dream? Are there any actions you can take to support it?

Thank God, the Universe, and Whoever Else that it’s Friday!!!

I’m a bit crampy and a lot headachey, and I’m officially taking a day off from serious, topical posts. I still feel like writing something though, so I’m shamelessly borrowing Zandria’s Random Friday idea. Enjoy!

1. My husband and I are getting together with friends tonight and cooking Mexican food. I’m in charge of bringing beer, guacamole, and fish tacos. True story: I thought that “fish taco” was a euphemism for female anatomy until I was in my late 20s. I blame the Navy.
2. We’re going to see Wanted, the new Angie Jo/James McAvoy flick tomorrow. It sounds like it’s right up my alley. In my opinion, a good movie contains (1) multiple car chases; (2) physics-defying special effects; and (3) at least one explosion. I like my movies loud and improbable. My least favorite movies are (1) chick flicks; (2) anything with Meg Ryan and/or Nicholas Cage–they both inexplicably annoy the bejesus out of me; and (3) sad and/or “heartwarming” movies (I cry at the drop of a hat as it is–I don’t need any additional provocation. This heart is warm enough, thankyouverymuch).
3. I love love LOVE my personal trainer, Donald. He’s not intimidating. He pushes me without being mean. He understands that running always has and always will come first to me and designs my workouts accordingly. I got so lucky when the gym assigned him to me!
4. I was a smoker through my late teens and early twenties. (I was in the Navy and everyone smoked. I figured that I might as well smoke because at least I’d have a filter in my mouth. The logic of a 19-year old.) I still smoke 3-4 cigarettes per week–psychological need more than physical at this point, but NO MORE. I am casting off the chains of oppression and going totally smoke-free. Viva clean lungs!
5. It’s 9:49am as I write this, and I am STARVING. Is it too early for lunch?

What random tidbits are on your mind today?

I’m taking Janssen’s lead and copying the “My Town” feature from Real Simple where residents of a city talk about what to see, do, and eat in their hometown. Janet is collecting the answers and creating a page of personalized city recommendations. You should play along!

My DC

Age: 30.

Occupation: Defense contractor.

I’ve lived here for: Five years.

I live here because: I wanted to study international security and work for the U.S. government, and this is kind of the best place to do that.

My neighborhood: Capitol Hill.

My favorite restaurant: Granville Moore’s. The chef is a friend of mine & he’s going to be on Throwdown with Bobby Flay on July 8. Check it out on the Food Network!

If you go to this restaurant, be sure to order: The blue cheese & bacon mussels and fries. Best. Fries. EVER.

My favorite museum: The Smithsonian Institution National Museum of Natural History.

My favorite tourist destination: The National Zoo.

Best insider spot: H Street.

My favorite area: Eastern Market.

Best place to go shopping: Georgetown. There are a ton of shops and restaurants–it’s a great way to spend an afternoon.

When you visit, don’t forget to pack: Comfortable shoes. With all the museums and shopping, you’ll be on your feet a lot!

But leave room in your suitcase for: Cheesy DC tourist items like “Friends Don’t Let Friends Vote Republican” T-shirts and CIA hats.

The one local cuisine you should try when you’re in town is: Ethiopian food. Seriously–it’s everywhere and it’s awesome.

The best way to get around: Metro or walking.

If I had to describe this city in one word, it would be: Intense. The politics are intense. The heat/humidity is intense (if you can help it, avoid DC in July & August). The tourist crowds are intense. The traffic is absolutely INSANE.

I tell my friends to stay at: The Phoenix Park Hotel. It’s about a 15-minute walk from my apartment, and it’s right by Union Station which has Metro, buses, and Amtrak.

The one thing most outsiders don’t know about this city is: Almost no one is actually from here, and the population is turning over all the time due to people who work on the Hill, military folks, and college students. Pretty much everyone I know moved here in the last 5 years and won’t still be here in 5 years.

They say “Virginia is for lovers.” So fill in the blank: DC is for career-driven people. In New Orleans, they ask you what you drink. In Boston, they ask you who your father is. In DC, the only question is “what do you do?”.

Janssen’s addition: What do you want to do that you haven’t done in your city yet? Go to the National Archives to see the Constitution. I can’t believe I haven’t found time for that in FIVE YEARS.