The last two months have completely kicked my butt.

First, there was the total shock of finding out that I’m pregnant. Then there was the desperate scramble to find a new place to live and move everything we own in a matter of few weeks. Then there was the hormonal overload of the first trimester–morning sickness, bone-deep exhaustion, alternating fits of tears and rage. Then there was a week-long work trip during which I became so exhausted and dehydrated due to the aforementioned morning sickness that I fainted in the middle of a business meeting with a bunch of police officers. (Well, if you have to faint, better to do it around people with EMT training, right?)

The most difficult part of all of this has been dealing with my own expectations. I thought I was a pretty together person. I would have thought I could handle anything work had to throw at me. I would have thought I could cope with a spur-of-the-moment move. I never dreamed that I wouldn’t be able to both keep up with this blog, which I adore, and continue my new paid blogging job (which I ultimately wound up quitting–that hurt the old ego). I always thought I’d be the kind of pregnant woman who sails through without a hitch. I thought I’d be able defeat morning sickness solely by the resorative power of ginger ale and the force of my will. I thought I’d be exercising five times a week. Ha! I’ve spent approximately 5,787,829,035,782,943 hours staring forlornly at the bottom of a toilet and approximately 0 hours looking at the display of a cardio machine.

It’s just been…

Tough.

But now, with the second trimester (which many people call the “honeymoon phase” of pregnancy) starting tomorrow, the move completely done, and work settling down a bit, I’ve decided that it’s time to wrap up the poor-me pity party and get back to enjoying my life. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I think it will go something like this:

• Do a little less moping and practice a little more gratitude.
• Watch a lot less TV and do a lot more writing.
• Do everything I can to reduce stress and anxiety.
• Make a conscious effort to enjoy the experience of pregnancy (who knows–this could be my only shot at it).
• Let go of my expectations. I don’t HAVE to work out five times per week or post every day here. I can just do what feels right and doesn’t cause me stress or anxiety.

I’m sorry I’ve been AWOL for the past six weeks, but I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and it looks really, really good…

The past couple of weeks have been a real whirlwind. My team at work has been simultaneously short-staffed and over-tasked, which has resulted in stress, long hours, stress, frustration, stress, missed workouts, stress, not cleaning the house, and stress. On top of that, I’ve got two websites to write for–Semi-Charmed Wife, which as you all know, has been woefully neglected of late, and the Examiner.

My husband and I have obligations/plans for the next four weekends, which gives me little time to recuperate/catch up/regain a tenuous relationship with my sanity and means that I have to squeeze all of my writing into the few hours between the time I get home from work and the time I go to sleep. As you can probably imagine, sitting at the computer is EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO DO after a long, stressful day at work of sitting at the computer.

(Note: It is exactly THE OPPOSITE of what I want to do, which is de-stress and/or sleep.)

Then there’s that whole pregnant thing. Yeah. Apparently, it makes me a wee bit emotional/hormonal, not to mention that I could easily sleep 16 hours a day if I were allowed to do so. And I’m a bit worried. I’ve lost some weight over the past few weeks (not much–just a few pounds), which my doctor assures me is totally normal for the first trimester, but I can’t help but wonder if the constant stress of the pressure cooker that is my life might have something to do with it.

My husband and I talked, and I’ve come to the conclusion that–contrary to what I want to believe–I can’t keep going at this breakneck pace right now. It’s not good for me, and I can’t imagine it’s good for the baby.

I’m going to talk to my editor at the Examiner and see if I can cut back to posting 1-2 times per week. Seeing as she just emailed me to request that I start posting every day (I’ve been posting 4x/week and am only obligated to post 3x/week), I have serious doubts as to whether she’ll agree to my request. If she doesn’t, as much as I’d hate to, I think I’ll have to resign. The alternative would be giving up Semi-Charmed Wife, and I get too much joy/inspiration from it to even contemplate doing that.

Though I know that this decision is in my best interests, I hate being in this position. It’s hard to admit that I can’t do something, and I’m struggling not to feel like a quitter. Again, I know intellectually that I’m doing the right thing, but emotionally, it’s a different story.

Have you ever been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? I need advice!

Eight weeks after giving birth to her THIRD child, Heidi Klum walked the Victoria’s Secret runway in (and this is not a joke) an electric thong.

Five months after having her son, former Bachelorette Trista Sutter appeared on the cover Us Weekly in a bikini with visible ab defintion and nary a stretch mark in sight.

A recent article at MSNBC questioned whether the insanely quick return to pre-baby condition by celebrity moms like Heidi and Trista helps or harms us mere mortals.

In one camp, moms like Catherine Lang-Cline are inspired by these hot mamas. “… I do find it inspiring that I don’t have to stay the flabby lump of goo that I feel I am now. Celebrities show that it’s possible to look good after having a baby. Granted, they’ll probably do it in half the time, but at least it’s possible.”

On the other side of the fence, some experts argue that celebrity moms set expectations that simply aren’t realistic for the vast majority of us who don’t have a nanny, nutritionist, chef, and personal trainer on call. These expectations influence our husbands, who wonder “If Christina Aguilera can lose the weight, why can’t you?”, and us, sparking disordered eating and exacerbating postpartum depression.

The question of the week is this: Are you inspired or discouraged by women like Heidi and Trista? How does their post-baby body success make you feel?

Speaking as a terrified mom-to-be with a history of disordered eating, I’d have to say that it alarms me. I don’t feel inspired; I feel intimidated. What if I can’t measure up to this impossibly high standard? I’d prefer to spend the first few months after delivery focusing on the baby rather than freaking out about my body (although I suspect a certain measure of freaking out is inevitable).

What do you think?

Thank you all so much for your good wishes & congratulations–it really means a lot to me!

I’ve already gotten a ton of questions, so I thought I’d answer the top three. My life is an open book, Internet…

1. Were we “trying”?

No. Quite the opposite, in fact. Our little bean defeated not one but TWO forms of birth control implemented by two very meticulous people, which makes him every bit as stubborn and determined as his parents. This is a surprise, but a very welcome one!

2. When did I find out?

I found out on July 29–so if you happened to see me drinking a cocktail at BlogHer, I assure you, I had NO IDEA that I had company. Of course, I had a total panic attack in my doctor’s office that I had permanently scarred the baby, but she assured me that the few drinks I had during the two weeks when I didn’t know are nothing to worry about. And then she gave me a list of other things I could feel free to worry about. Sigh. Practice for parenthood, I suppose…

3. How do I feel?

Terrified. Slightly nauseated (the aforementioned seasickness). Excited. Happy. Somewhat deprived from giving up sushi, swordfish, soft cheese (please God, not the Brie!!), caffeine, alcohol, rare steaks, and raw eggs, which takes away Caesar salads, tiramisu, mousse, and Hollandaise sauce.

Oh, and did I mention terrified?

If any of you mamas out there have any pregnancy advice for me, please leave it in the comments. I need all the help I can get! (But please don’t leave anything scary, like the story of how you were in labor for 9 days–I’m a wee bit sensitive at the mo’…)

I have a huge announcement to make.

So huge.

Mind-blowing, you could say. 

Ladies and gentleman…

My husband and I are happy to announce…

… that we are having a baby!

I know!!!!

Yep, I’m expecting. Knocked up. In the family way. Renting out the guest room. With child. Awaiting the Wiggles invasion. Moving a prototype into production. Federlined. Got a bun in the oven. On stork watch. In a delicate condition. Following in Brangelina’s footsteps. Eating for two.

In other words, I’m PREGNANT!

It came as a bit of a surprise, but we’re very excited and looking forward to (and simultaneously absolutely terrified of) being parents.

I was going to try and wait until I was through the first trimester before I told the whole Interweb, but… well, I’m horrible at keeping secrets and I just couldn’t stand it any more. (BTW, I’m 6 weeks along and due on April 4, 2009. And I’m convinced–don’t ask me how or why–that it’s a boy.) Anyway, I figured that whether things go smashingly well or not so smoothly, my posting frequency may eventually be affected and you might as well know why…

Please send happy thoughts to the Bean (according to Google, the baby is the size of a lentil bean today), who is currently making his mother feel a bit seasick…