Regardless of where we are in life, we all have goals. A college student might want to get an A on her psych final. A young professional might want to pay off her credit card or get a promotion. A fitness buff might want to finish a triathlon or complete the 100 pushup challenge. Purpose-driven goals might include writing a book or starting your own business. Most of us have a running list (mental or written) of things we want to accomplish, and we’re slowly but surely working toward achieving those goals.

But we all have those days, don’t we? You know the ones–when you’re PMSing and it’s raining outside and you just don’t feel like running. Or when the baby kept you up all night and you argued with your husband and your heart’s just not in studying for the MCAT. Or when you decide to eat lunch out for the eleventh day in a row (even though that money could be paying down the Visa) because it’s just so much work to pack one.

I’ve been having more than my share of those days lately, and I’m looking for more ideas of how to keep myself motivated. I’d like to build up a motivational “toolkit” that I can draw upon when I’ve got a case of the blahs.

Here’s a list of things that motivate me now:

• Music. When I hear “Eye of the Tiger”, I can’t help but feel pumped up.
• Accountability. Knowing that I will post about any disordered eating struggles is a big motivator for me to stay on the healthy path!
• Having someone depend on me. If I commit to meet a friend at the gym, I can’t stand the thought of being late or cancelling. I’ll get there no matter what!
• Quotes. Like this one… “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” (Winston Churchill)
• Success stories. I love to hear stories about people who’ve beaten the odds and overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles to achieve their goals.
• Rewards. Knowing that I’ll get something special for meeting a goal gives me something to work for and look forward to.

What do you recommend? What really gets you going?

The more I reflect on identifying my true purpose, the more the “You can do it!” message resonates with me. Just typing those words makes me feel energized, inspired, and motivated to work hard and find the right medium for my message. I can honestly say that I never felt that way when I was thinking about writing fiction (or actually writing it). This excitement and energy tells me that I’m on the right track.

I’m not quite sure yet what my ideal medium will be, but since I’m fairly certain (not 100% at this point, but pretty close) that it won’t be fiction, I need to realign my goals and objectives to be a better fit with my (admittedly fuzzy) ideas about how best to move forward. (Check out the revised writing/blogging section of my 101 Things list to see how I changed my goals in those areas.)

At least to start, this website will be the “hub” of my efforts. Here are some steps I plan to take to align it more closely with my purpose:

• Rebranding. I love the Semi-Charmed Wife domain name, so I’m definitely keeping that, but I’d like a new image for my logo/header and a new tagline. Any suggestions? Is anyone out there good with graphic design (on a fee or barter basis, of course) or have a recommendation for someone who is?
• Business plan. I’d like to write a comprehensive business plan to chart the course for my website. This will force me to look at areas I often ignore, such as marketing and revenue generation. Again, I’m not strong in this area, so if you are, I’d love your help! I’d definitely either pay for services or barter my services for yours (e.g., I’ll write/edit/provide coaching for you if you assist me).
• eBook. I’d like to write an eBook about finding your purpose (I have tentative ideas for others as well), and I’d like to make it available in my online store. Which brings me to the next item…
• Online store. I’d like to add an online store to my website where people can purchase services, eBooks, and potentially T-shirts and other merchandise. (Again, I’d need a good graphic designer!)

I think that completing these steps will put me well on the way to transforming my website into an effective vehicle for delivering my message. If you have any additional ideas for me, or if you think you could help me (or know someone who could) with the business plan or the graphic design (either for a fee or for an exchange of services), let me know!

Some of you responded yesterday that you know what your message is, and some responded that you’ve already identified your medium. What steps are you taking to fill in the blanks? What resources or topics for posts might be helpful for you?

… and how you say it.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, reading, and introspecting since writing Friday’s post. I’m stuck with this feeling that the answer to this riddle is right on the tip of my tongue, and if I just keep mulling it over, it will come to me. The sensation is both frustrating and exhilarating–frustrating because I want an answer and I want it NOW, exhilarating because I feel kind of like a mental/spiritual Indiana Jones hunting for a mythical artifact. Semi-Charmed Wife and the Hunt for Life’s Purpose… It’s got a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

In the midst of all this research and soul-searching, I found an insightful and apropos article by Erin Pavlina called “The Medium and the Message“. (Erin is a practicing psychic. Regardless of whether you believe in psychic abilities, I recommend the article for its unique perspective.) The article refers to your true purpose as your message. Your message is why you’re here and what you must express or communicate in this life. If I were to sum up my message into a catchy slogan, it would be something like “You can do it!”, meaning that no matter what it is that you want out of life, no matter what you want to be or do, you CAN make it happen regardless of who you are or where you start. It’s a message of empowerment and enlightenment targeted primarily at women.

Your medium is the way you deliver your message. Using mine as an example, I could be a full-time mother who raises empowered, fully conscious children. I could be a therapist. I could be a counselor to battered women. I could be a motivational speaker. I could be a life coach. I could be teach at a community college. I could be an author and write novels that inspire people to believe in themselves, or I could write nonfiction books about personal development. The possibilities for delivering my message are endless.

That’s the rub for me–endless possibilities. I could deliver my message in a million ways–how do I know which one is the right fit for me? As you know from following my various 21-Day Makeovers, I love doing personal development “experiments” on myself, so I’m going to resort to my tried-and-true tactic of trial and error. I’ll just have to come up with different ideas and try them out. Eventually, one of them will click and I’ll know I’ve found the right medium for me. For instance, I’ve tried writing fiction, and although I enjoy it, it didn’t resonate as a way to live my purpose. On to the next idea…

I’m working on a different plan now. It’s still in the early stages of conception, but I’ll certainly share it with you when it’s fully formed.

What’s harder for you–figuring out your medium or your message?

Most of you know that one of my paramount interests is to find and live my true purpose. For some time, I’ve been convinced that my purpose is to write fiction–novels, to be specific. Lately, though, I haven’t been so sure. This neither surprises nor upsets me. Figuring out your purpose is the work of a lifetime. I don’t expect it to be easy, and I don’t expect to get it right the first–or the second or the third–time.

I’m still kind of sorting through this issue, but here’s where I stand…

What I prioritize. There are certain things in my life that I make time for without fail. These include spending time with my husband, socializing with friends and family, running, reading, and–most significantly–updating this blog. Since I started this website, I think I’ve posted at least five times per week. I always look forward to writing for Semi-Charmed Wife, and I get terribly distressed when I can’t post. Interesting, no?

What I avoid. I have to force myself to make time for creative writing. It feels like a chore. I’m pretty good at it and I enjoy it, but I’m not on fire for it. If writing fiction is integral to fulfilling my purpose, shouldn’t I be motivated to do it–not avoiding it like the plague? I thought for a long time that maybe fear of failure might be behind my resistance, but I think it’s deeper than that. I think I avoid it because I’ve proclaimed to the world that it’s my calling, and some part of me knows that isn’t quite right (or maybe it is–I’m still working it out). I’ll probably always write fiction as a hobby, but as of right now, I don’t think it’s my purpose.

What fascinates me. I do a lot of reading–books, blogs, informational websites, newspapers, magazines. If it will hold still and has words on it, chances are that I’ll read it (or at least skim it). When it comes to fiction, I love the sci-fi, fantasy, and supernatural genres. If I had to put my finger on why I love those types of books the best, I’d have to say because they stimulate my imagination. They prompt me to think and dream and imagine and visualize and push at the limits of what’s possible.

In the nonfiction realm, I love (obviously) reading about personal development–finding your purpose, setting goals, growing as a person… anything along those lines. I enjoy reading about different religions and spiritual traditions–probably a legacy of the Comparative Religion and Culture Program I did while studying abroad. I also love reading about the intersection between science and spirituality (check out these articles for examples of what I’m talking about). So overall, my nonfiction reading focuses on personal growth, exploring spirituality and culture, and discovering new ways of thinking.

What frustrates me. I don’t know about you, but when I’m frustrated by something, I get really motivated to change it. It seems logical to me that things that frustrate us about the world, other people, or ourselves could provide insight on our purpose–what we’re here to change. I’m frustrated that so many people–especially people in their 20s and 30s (myself included)–have such a hard time figuring out what to do with their lives. I want to help people find their own path. I’m frustrated that many people have a kind of victim mentality about life. They feel like life “just happens” to them, and they chalk up negative experiences to “just my luck”. I want people to feel empowered and to realize that they–and they alone–are the architects of their own destiny. I’m frustrated that I see so much untapped potential all around me (including in myself). I want people to become enlightened, to see the truth of themselves and to take accountability for growing into the fullness of what and who they can become. It frustrates me to see people come up with reason after reason why they can’t achieve their goals. I want to help people stop making excuses and start living.

What I’m good at. I’m a good writer–writing comes as easily and naturally to me as speaking. I’m also an articulate and comfortable public speaker; unlike many people, I really enjoy speaking to large groups. I’m good at teaching, training, and mentoring, and I think I give pretty sound advice and counsel.

Who I want to reach. I want to reach anyone who’s searching for truth and purpose, any seeker who’s ready to take up the challenge of a lifetime and become the person they were meant to be. I feel especially drawn to helping women in this challenge.

You probably noticed that I bolded and highlighted key words and phrases throughout this post. These words feel important to me. They feel like they’re connected to my purpose, like they’re the key to synthesizing everything I presented in this post into a coherent idea.

I’d love to hear what you think. What comes to mind when you think about what I said? Does a purpose leap out at you? I’d also be happy to take a look at your responses in the above categories and see if I can help you make sense of them.

Have a great weekend!

There are several open positions on my contract, and my Division Director and I have been conducting interviews over the past few weeks. I know that there are tons of intelligent, motivated, professional people out there looking for jobs, but recently, I’ve seen even the smartest and most qualified candidates make fatal mistakes in the interview process. Drawing on these experiences, I’ve compiled some interview pointers.

1. Quadruple check your resume and cover letter. (This usually comes before the interview, but it’s so important that I’m including it anyway.) There is no excuse–I repeat, no excuse, for having typos in your resume and/or cover letter. If you’re not a good proofreader, have someone else do it for you. As a matter of fact, ask another person to look at it no matter what. They may point out unexplained abbreviations, odd formatting, missing information, weird wording, or other mistakes that could land your resume in the trash can.
2. Be on time. This really should go without saying, but sigh… I guess it doesn’t. Leave extra early. If something happens and you’re going to be late, call the interviewer and calmly (please don’t cry–this also happened to me recently) say “I wanted to let you know that I’ll be arriving 10 minutes late due to an accident on I-66. I apologize for the inconvenience.” Nine times out of ten, it won’t be a problem. (Just don’t stroll in an hour late without calling ahead, and don’t tell your potential employer that you’ll be late because you overslept.)
3. Be self-confident. If you come into the interview and you’re so nervous that your hands are shaking and your voice is trembling, it… well, it just doesn’t inspire a whole lot of confidence. I know that job interviews are intimidating, but you have to be able to project an image of calm and poise even when your guts are in a knot. It’s hard, but if I can do it, so can you. Try the “act as if” technique–it works wonders for me.
4. Dress for success. The hard truth is that you will be judged in part on your appearance. If your clothes are wrinkled, there’s sauce on your blouse, and you’re wearing Doc Martens (I actually saw this last week–with a SKIRT), it projects an “I don’t care enough to try” attitude. Yes, we’re not all fashionistas, but that doesn’t mean we can’t look professional and pulled together. For most office jobs, you should be wearing a business suit. (*TIP*-tailoring can make even a $20 Goodwill suit look like a million bucks!) Before you leave the house, check your fingernails, shine your shoes (or at least wipe the mud off), and do a quick once-over to make sure you’re not wearing your breakfast. And ladies, don’t wear your hair like this. That is not professional hair! A sleek, low ponytail secured with a plain black elastic always works.
5. Be positive. I know that your last job was an absolute cesspool of backstabbing, gossip, and general despair, but for the love of God, don’t frame it that way in an interview. To reference a gossipy work environment, say that you learned a great deal about effective communication. For backstabbing, say that you learned the value of teamwork. If asked why you’re leaving, say that you’re ready to tackle new challenges and additional responsibilities. Don’t fall into the trap of badmouthing your former employer! The person you’re interviewing with could actually know the people you used to work for–especially if you’re in a specialized industry.
6. Don’t chew gum. Just… don’t.
7. Practice. You will most likely be asked about your strengths and weaknesses. You’ll be asked to describe an instance when you worked well with a team, or when you displayed leadership, or when you overcame a challenge. Do some reading online about standard job interview questions ahead of time and be prepared with responses. Don’t look at the interviewer like a deer in the headlights when they ask what you’re biggest strength is.
8. Be enthusiastic. Let the interviewer know that you’re actually excited about the job. Ask questions about the work environment, the clients, the challenges of the job, significant successes, etc. Let your interest in the job show. (Be wary of asking salary/benefits questions early in the interview–this should come at the end of a good interview where you’re fairly confident you’ll get a call-back.)
9. Market yourself. You want to talk up your high points with out sounding too braggy. Some examples, “Analytical thinking is my strongest skill. I love tackling complex problems!” This conveys that you’re a good analyst and that you enjoy it without sounding over the top. Another example: “Graduate school honed my ability to write well under pressure. I’m considered the go-to person in my office for drafting documents with a quick turn-around.” I know it feels weird to talk about yourself this way, but trust me, it sounds great to an interviewer!
10. Explain your mistakes. For recent college graduates, if your GPA was under 3.0, you’d better be prepared to explain why. Don’t get defensive when you’re asked about it. Come up with a simple explanation like “Early in my college career, I had difficulty managing the workload. I recognized the problem and took a course on time management and study skills. I was able to pull my GPA from a 2.0 to a 2.8 in just one semester. It was an extremely valuable learning experience for me.” If you’ve been fired, be prepared with an explanation that focuses on what you learned from the experience rather than pointing fingers at the company that fired you. No matter what black marks you’ve got on your record, there’s a way to spin them in a positive light.

Do you have any other job interview tips? What mistakes have you made (or seen) in job interviews?