Oct 02 2008
Testing the Waters
The last two months have completely kicked my butt.
First, there was the total shock of finding out that I’m pregnant. Then there was the desperate scramble to find a new place to live and move everything we own in a matter of few weeks. Then there was the hormonal overload of the first trimester–morning sickness, bone-deep exhaustion, alternating fits of tears and rage. Then there was a week-long work trip during which I became so exhausted and dehydrated due to the aforementioned morning sickness that I fainted in the middle of a business meeting with a bunch of police officers. (Well, if you have to faint, better to do it around people with EMT training, right?)
The most difficult part of all of this has been dealing with my own expectations. I thought I was a pretty together person. I would have thought I could handle anything work had to throw at me. I would have thought I could cope with a spur-of-the-moment move. I never dreamed that I wouldn’t be able to both keep up with this blog, which I adore, and continue my new paid blogging job (which I ultimately wound up quitting–that hurt the old ego). I always thought I’d be the kind of pregnant woman who sails through without a hitch. I thought I’d be able defeat morning sickness solely by the resorative power of ginger ale and the force of my will. I thought I’d be exercising five times a week. Ha! I’ve spent approximately 5,787,829,035,782,943 hours staring forlornly at the bottom of a toilet and approximately 0 hours looking at the display of a cardio machine.
It’s just been…
Tough.
But now, with the second trimester (which many people call the “honeymoon phase” of pregnancy) starting tomorrow, the move completely done, and work settling down a bit, I’ve decided that it’s time to wrap up the poor-me pity party and get back to enjoying my life. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I think it will go something like this:
- Do a little less moping and practice a little more gratitude.
- Watch a lot less TV and do a lot more writing.
- Do everything I can to reduce stress and anxiety.
- Make a conscious effort to enjoy the experience of pregnancy (who knows–this could be my only shot at it).
- Let go of my expectations. I don’t HAVE to work out five times per week or post every day here. I can just do what feels right and doesn’t cause me stress or anxiety.
I’m sorry I’ve been AWOL for the past six weeks, but I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and it looks really, really good…
It’s good to have you back! I’m glad that things are a little less hectic for you, and hopefully you are feeling better!
Glad to hear you survived the chaos that was your life for a bit and things are starting to look up. Happy to have you around again!
Take care of yourself………
~K
Welcome back!
Woo Hooo! I saw that you posted and I was tripping over my fingers to get over to your blog! So happy to see you and of course, we understand if you can’t post until you can post. Just get settled back down to life and enjoy yourself!
It’s nice to see you back, lovely!
Don’t stress. Enjoy where you are right now. We’ll be here when needed.
I’m glad to hear that about the letting go of all those expectations. Expectations are the things that cause us to get stressed out. You don’t need all that stress in your life, especially over things like less time on a cardio machine. The weather outside is grand right now! Go for a walk outside and I think you’ll have a much better time. I’ve been doing that myself and I highly recommend it.
yay! so glad to see you’re back and doing well. looking forward to reading more from you now that things are a bit more calm.
I’m glad things are looking up, and I hope this second trimester is full of happy. And blogging.
we are just happy youre back!
Welcome back! And kudos for surviving the chaos. I hope the dust settles soon and you can enjoy your new home.
Belated congrats and welcome back! We all need to take a little hiatus once in a while (in my case more frequently than those more diligent, like you) to deal with what’s offline. You know, that “other” place.
Enjoy all your experiences on the way — and we hope to hear about it when you get the chance.
If you think pregnancy is humbling (and exhausting), wait until you try parenting out.
I’m getting married next year and haven’t planned to have kids soon after getting married.
But after reading some of your ‘reports’, I think expecting a baby sounds kind of fun
[although lots of hard consequences are waiting]
Wow! That’s alot of change at one time… but it sounds to me like you have a great perspective on it all…
J/ (goteeman.blogspot.com)
One of the major lessons parenthood teaches each of us is how little control we really do have over our life. That’s a good thing because living with the flow really does work. And no, I didn’t really get it when I had my first child.
Hormones are really a trip, aren’t they?
Jen, you are also tagged for 6 Things. I’m trying to expand my readership of local blogs, and was glad to find you. I’m a former fed and a former state employee. Happily retired!
i’m sorry i didn’t see your blog at least 543,646,363,523 pukes ago. there is a magic pill called, appropriately, morning sickness magic. it’s out by the mommy’s bliss brand and it’s freaking amazing. i hope you’re feeling much better, but in case your sickness has attitude and doesn’t leave you alone, go to whole foods, or vitapal.com and get some. i swear by it. =)
love,
a complete stranger. =)
Hey, great blog! I found you on BlogCatalog, love your writing style!