Aug 25 2008
Whirlwind
The past couple of weeks have been a real whirlwind. My team at work has been simultaneously short-staffed and over-tasked, which has resulted in stress, long hours, stress, frustration, stress, missed workouts, stress, not cleaning the house, and stress. On top of that, I’ve got two websites to write for–Semi-Charmed Wife, which as you all know, has been woefully neglected of late, and the Examiner.
My husband and I have obligations/plans for the next four weekends, which gives me little time to recuperate/catch up/regain a tenuous relationship with my sanity and means that I have to squeeze all of my writing into the few hours between the time I get home from work and the time I go to sleep. As you can probably imagine, sitting at the computer is EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO DO after a long, stressful day at work of sitting at the computer.
(Note: It is exactly THE OPPOSITE of what I want to do, which is de-stress and/or sleep.)
Then there’s that whole pregnant thing. Yeah. Apparently, it makes me a wee bit emotional/hormonal, not to mention that I could easily sleep 16 hours a day if I were allowed to do so. And I’m a bit worried. I’ve lost some weight over the past few weeks (not much–just a few pounds), which my doctor assures me is totally normal for the first trimester, but I can’t help but wonder if the constant stress of the pressure cooker that is my life might have something to do with it.
My husband and I talked, and I’ve come to the conclusion that–contrary to what I want to believe–I can’t keep going at this breakneck pace right now. It’s not good for me, and I can’t imagine it’s good for the baby.
I’m going to talk to my editor at the Examiner and see if I can cut back to posting 1-2 times per week. Seeing as she just emailed me to request that I start posting every day (I’ve been posting 4x/week and am only obligated to post 3x/week), I have serious doubts as to whether she’ll agree to my request. If she doesn’t, as much as I’d hate to, I think I’ll have to resign. The alternative would be giving up Semi-Charmed Wife, and I get too much joy/inspiration from it to even contemplate doing that.
Though I know that this decision is in my best interests, I hate being in this position. It’s hard to admit that I can’t do something, and I’m struggling not to feel like a quitter. Again, I know intellectually that I’m doing the right thing, but emotionally, it’s a different story.
Have you ever been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? I need advice!
Don’t feel like a quitter! More than anything, you have an obligation to yourself to maintain your sanity and health. If you are stressed from the second blog, then don’t be afraid to be honest and say that you can’t do it at this time.
I think at some point in our lives we are all faced with the decision of what to give up (at least for a little bit). Sometimes it is hard to let go of things because we think we can do it all, but reality is that we are human and can only handle so much before it starts to wear us down.
Try not to let this wear on you or feel like a failure…you are not. You should be focusing on you at this time and the joys that come with all your impending changes. Just because you need to stop doing something doesn’t mean it is over, it just means that you have to stop for a while and you can always come back to it later if you want to.
Remember, it’s just stuff…life will continue on with or without that stuff…your sanity is more important than it ever will be.
~K
I think you handle it very, very honestly.
I love this job. I’m so grateful for the opportunity. I’m scared to death of ruining it, but my schedule is ruining me. I don’t want to do lower quality work than I’m capable of. The pregnancy and my primary job leave me with little left to give. I want to keep posting, I don’t want to close this door, but I can’t commit to the volume you want right now. Maybe we could revisit when I’m a little further along in the pregnancy and things have slowed down at work (couple months).
It sucks, though, babe. I know what the Examiner means to you.
I am so sorry you have all this stress going on right now.
I hope it slows down a little for you soon. And it sounds like a smart idea to be proactive in making things slow down.
It’s not about quitting, it’s about deciding what’s important to you, like your health and your baby. And that requires hard choices.
Especially for someone like you that wants to give her all to whatever project you are working on.
It will work out.
I’m on board with Tootie and Kel - you are by no means a quitter and life will continue with or without…
My staff has 3 people out on maternity leave and I am laying low aniticipating the work load to come to a head, and all I want to do is focus on school and not work.
I think what happened is that I have wrapped myself up in too many things I feel passionately about, I like my job and I like school, but I can’t give 100% to both at the same time and this is driving me nuts. Whatever decision you do make, know that you will not be letting go of something that you will never be able to get back. Time is always on your side when it comes to persuing your goals.
i agree with…well, everyone that already commented! you know in your heart that it’s better to make a thoughtful decision to re-prioritize now, than to be forced into a situation where you have to give up more than you really want to later down the road. you’ve worked so hard to be healthy, and you want to stay healthy for that little bun in the oven!
take a deep breath and trust that what you have to do now will bring huge payoffs in the future!!
Arrrgghh! How frustrating. I bet if the people at the Examiner like your writing so much that they want you to increase your posting, they won’t want to lose you. Hopefully they’ll work with you. If not, they’re STUPID!
I hope you don’t stop this blog because I just recently found it and I love it!
Although, I am a firm believer that you have to have balance in everything or life will become unhappy. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and realize that there is a time and season for everything. Maybe - during this pregnancy season, you may have to cut back something, but once the baby is here and life settles a bit, you may be able to add that something back in. Good luck with your decision!
are you admitting you cant? or ARE YOU TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF?
treating the most important (ok one of…theres the hubby, G-d, but you get my drift) person in your life (now TWO OF YOU) with the loving care youd give a friend.
M.