Aug 14 2008
Knowing When to Say When
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I and–I feel fairly confident making this assumption–many of my readers tend to take on too much. At any given moment, we’re juggling the demands of our primary job, perhaps an extra or freelance gig or two, our families, our friends and social lives, our marriages or relationships, our health and fitness, our hobbies, and our churches, charities, or volunteer organizations. Our plates are pretty darn full. Sometimes, we just don’t know when to say when.
Your husband (partner/friend/family member/coworker) may ask, as mine has of late, why don’t you just not do some of this stuff?
To which I reply by chucking my overstuffed day planner at him, laughing maniacally, and running off into the sunset. (Note to men: This is NOT what you should say to your overworked, overstressed wife who is balancing a full-time job, a part-time job–my Examiner page, which launched yesterday, a website, and an overpacked social calendar ALL WHILE BUILDING A HUMAN. I’m just saying, word to the wise.)
The helpful suggestions make me a wee bit… upset.
I mean, what does he think would happen if I didn’t put in the extra three hours to polish my presentation for work? I’d probably crash and burn, get fired, and we’d wind up homeless and destitute.
And if I missed a day posting on my blog? Everyone would stop reading immediately and all the work I’ve done would be for nothing.
And if I missed dinner with my friends? They’d all write me out of their lives forever, and I’d die friendless and unloved.
And if I skipped a workout? I’d instantly balloon up to Beluga-esque proportions, none of my clothes would fit, and I’d have to wear K-Mart mumus.
And if…
Wait a minute.
You know what?
Please don’t tell my husband this, but I think he might be right. Shhh! I think he heard me!
Maybe the world actually wouldn’t spin off its axis if I lightened my load all around. Maybe my friends wouldn’t desert me if I said no to social outings once in a while. Hell, maybe they’d be relieved! Maybe no one would even notice if I posted 3 times a week on both websites instead of killing myself trying to post 5 times a week. Maybe…
I’m going to try and make a conscious effort to cut back on my commitments. For one thing I’m constantly tired and/or nauseated, and for another, I enjoy things so much more when I’m not feeling overwhelmed and panicky.
How about you? Do you need to cut back, or do you maintain a pretty good balance? If you’re balanced, tell us your secret!!
And if you didn’t see it already, check out MizFit’s post on our “musts”…
Most of the time I think I strike a pretty good balance with my commitments, but there are definitely times when I notice how much I work. 40 hours a week at my day job (not counting commuting time), plus 30 hours a month on freelance research work, which ends up equaling a 6-day workweek — and that’s not even counting the time I spend writing my posts for BlogHer and my personal website!
This means I have to cut short weekends that I spend with my family in Richmond (and also there are weekends I don’t go down there at all, when I probably would have if I didn’t have “so much work” to do). The thing is, I don’t NEED to do this extra work to get by — I make enough to comfortably pay my bills. But it’s nice being able to put that extra money in my savings account, “just in case.”
**Sigh**
What a great (and necessary) post. I’ll try to remember that.
I’m currently going haywire, myself. I was talking to a friend earlier about my spasticity right now!
Cut back, chica! You have to think for two now.
I’ve been wondering where my time goes lately. I would usually say that I balance this juggling act fairly well. Then again there are days I have been running for so long that I just don’t realize it until I sit down and then it kind of all hits me at once and I say “Where did all my time go?” “What I really busy that whole time?”
I think if you don’t enjoy it or you can see a noticable decrease in your personal happieness, then cutting back is a normal thing to do.
~K
I have balanced a bunch in the last month, but almost too far. For instance, how often do I get a chance to read or comment on your blog lately? I’ve also put coaching on the backburner, and I spend much less time on the general internet. Part of this is simply that my new job actually gives me work, so I’m not spending my job working hours screwing around, which is when I did a lot of my internet activities before. But also, I am so much more content in my quality of life with the new job, that the need for more or different (like my coaching career) has lessened.
On the flip side, I’ve become much more idle. I will relax and watch tv rather than get out and train for my walk, or clean a room, or market my business.
I’ve kind of been taking advantage of all this newfound me time because of my new lack of commute, and many things have fallen by the wayside. I think I just need to get this seasaw to kind of teeter back up towards the middle now, and I’ll be back in the swing of things in no time.