Jul 29 2008
Choose the Right Goals and Build Passion
Image from http://www.eteamz.com/fcrogue/images/goals.jpg.
There’s a ton of great literature out there on how to set goals. The SMART technique tells us that goals should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. Other sources advise that goals should be phrased as positive statements (”I will eat healthy foods” vs. “I will quit eating junk food”), and pretty much everyone suggests that we write down our goals to formalize them. This is all great advice, but you could develop and write out the SMARTest goal imaginable and still be missing a very important step: choosing a goal that inspires passion.
Did you ever go out on a date with someone who was “perfect on paper”? Your potential paramour was smart, attractive, funny, well-spoken, employed, nicely dressed, and kind. Your friends and parents adored this person, and you knew that you really should like him or her, but you just… didn’t. For whatever reason, “it” wasn’t there. You didn’t click. There was no chemistry. No matter how much you tried, you were never going to feel passion for this seemingly perfect person.
It’s the same way with goals. I have a personal example to share with you. I feel like I should lose about 5-10 pounds. (As a recovering disordered eater, I’ll probably always struggle with the feeling that I should be on a diet.) I’ve been ostensibly working on this goal for months. But I like how I look. (It feels so good to be able to say that and mean it!) My husband likes how I look. I’ve been training for a marathon and lifting weights, and I know I’m fit and strong and in great shape. And, on a purely practical level, I have a whole wardrobe of clothes that fit me and don’t really feel like investing the time, money, and effort into tailoring my clothes or finding new ones.
Sure, I could lose weight. I’m a frigging expert on losing weight. I have memorized the nutritional information of practically everything I eat on a regular basis. From there, it’s a matter of making sure that calories in is significantly less than calories out. Simple. I have no doubt that, if I really wanted to, I could drop 10 pounds in a month (Lord knows I’ve done it before). If I really wanted to. The problem is that I don’t really want to lose weight. It’s something I feel like I ought to do, not something that I personally and passionately desire to do. Therefore, my level of commitment to and emotional investment in achieving that goal is virtually nil. It just ain’t gonna happen.
Compare my relative “failure” at weight loss to the smashing and pretty much effortless success I had finding a paid writing job. Why? Because there’s nothing I want more than to be paid to write. I want it so badly! I can feel that passion, that desire burning in my heart, mind, and soul. I want it all the time–from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep at night. There’s no stopping that level of passion. Desire WILL find a way.
What goals have you set for yourself that you’re not 100% passionate about? Are there things you’re working towards that you feel you should do rather than that you passionately desire to do? What new goals can you set for yourself?
I am a mixed bag on this one.
I do test my goals out to see if they’re SMART before I added em to my vision board.
And my goals ARE ones I want to achieve……yet the road to them hath been SLOW going.
I tell myself it’s a time thing (not enough) but is it really?
Food for thought —-
I think my issue is seeing how realistic my goals are. I do need to lose about 15 pounds for my blood pressure (even though this new medication has lowered it a lot).
I have other ones that challenge the sense of who I am because I feel that I’m constantly on the ‘brink’ of something but I want to push myself off that ledge.
I want to pole dance instruct, I admit that out loud now.
I also want to write about issues that will help black women…I really need to go get my vision board.
So much of my growth is through the mental aspect. Setting goals and visualizing. Nice post!
I’m feeling you there on the weight-loss thing. If I WANTED to lose 10 pounds right now, I’m sure I could do it. But I don’t want to. I’m fine the way I am. And I’m glad you realize that about yourself, too.