Jun 30 2008
The Life I’m Supposed to Lead
A close friend of mine called me yesterday afternoon to tell me that the guy she’d been seeing had just ended their six-month relationship. Like any good girlfriend would, I picked up a bottle of cabernet and headed over to her place.
“Are you in love with him?” I asked.
“What?” she said, surprised. “No! God, no. I’m just…”
“Hurt?” I guessed.
“No,” she said. “Actually, I appreciate his honesty. We both knew it wasn’t going anywhere, and one of us was going to have to end it at some point.”
“So what’s upsetting you?”
“I just feel like this is not my life. This is not the life I’m supposed to lead. I’m not who I’m supposed to be, and I’m not doing what I’m supposed to do.”
My friend, like me, is a defense contractor. She feels like she’s treading water, a tiny cog in the unimaginably huge machinery of the federal government. She feels like what she does all day doesn’t mean anything, like nothing would change at all if she just stopped doing work (and I know exactly how she feels!). The end of this relationship was a wake-up call for her.
I asked her a few questions to try and get at what it is she feels she should be doing. After talking for a while, she came to the realization that she’s very drawn to disaster relief and the first responder community. This is something she’s always known deep down but had discounted because it doesn’t match her education and work experience. We talked about different ways to break into the field, and by the time I left last night, she was totally renewed and invigorated about the world of possibilities that had opened up before her.
It felt great to know that I had been able to be there with (and for) her as she tackled The Question (a/k/a, “What am I supposed to do with my life?”). More than that, it re-energized me in my pursuit of my own life’s purpose. I came up with my own plan to contact some people I know who teach in the DC school system and to begin preparing for the PRAXIS.
Are you living the life you’re supposed to lead? If not, what do you plan to do about it? I’d be happy to support you in your journey however I can!
Good Monday Morning!
Am I living the life I’m supposed to lead? Well, I don’t know for sure what I’m supposed to be doing here, but I do know that I feel like there is more out there for me.
My Mom was in town this weekend visiting my brother’s new baby girl (sooo cute, her name is Magdalena Susan!!!) Anyway, she and I were talking about my boyfriend’s new job opportunity and I in turn began discussing some things I want to begin pursuing.
First, my bf was just offered a job with the state doing something he has long been hoping for. Although he is not sure of the outcome (who ever knows exactly what’s in store for us!) but he knows he will be able to 1. help people 2. have a secure position within a union 3. make decent money with the ability to move up within the organization. I am so proud of him and happy that he is realizing his dream!
Second, I began discussing with my Mom and bf that although I am making good money right now and my job is pretty straightforward, I am not “fulfilled.” I feel like I can be giving back and have thought about making some changes.
Right now, what is best for me is to stay where I am, save some money and get as much experience as I can. Where I end up, though, I hope is somewhere more fulfilling and that allows me to help other people (but still make some $$$!)
I’m glad this was your proposed question today, I need to get this out! It’s also very comforting to know that other women are going through similiar things that I am. For example, like wanting to do something with my life that I dont’ have much experience with or that has nothing to do with my college degree! As long as we are true to ourselves and find a job that allows us to be fulfilled and passionate, then it doesn’t matter what we need to do, we will make it happen!
Sometimes the hardest part is doing all the work to get where we know we should (and can) be!
Have a great day!
Anna
I think it is hard to find anybody that feels that they are living the life they are supposed to lead. It is human nature to second guess ourselves, careers, partners, financial situation etc. I can find many reasons if I so choose to question myself….I guess it comes down to is the “glass half full or half empty? ” I think you hit it right on by putting it down on paper and talking…good job!
Interesting question for today. Do I think I am living the life I am supposed to - well I think this is part of it, but I don’t think I’ve reached just where I want/need to be. I think I’m headed in the right direction, but then again…perhaps we are all in early stages of our mid-life crisis!
Have a great day!
~K
What a great topic, and very timely for me as well. You seem to have a knack for that! I know that I’m not living the life I’m supposed to lead, in many different ways, and it’s something that has been on my mind a lot in the last few months.
I’ve identified some specific things I can and want to do to grow and change (made my 101 Things list), but the difficult part for me is finding the motivation to get started. I struggle with clinical depression, and I don’t respond well to medication(s), so my energy and momentum seem to come in spurts, at best. When I made my list, my energy was high; now…not so much. So that’s the most difficult part for me - staying consistent to some degree in my efforts and outlook on changing and improving my life.
Danielle
Absolutely not. I don’t even know what that means. Good for you for knowing what it means for you.
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