Jun 18 2008
Pull the Trigger
I’ve written before about my experiences with disordered eating, and I’d like to dig more deeply into the issue of triggers. As I mentioned, Zandria and I are working together on a project to explore disordered eating and get it out of the proverbial closet. I posted recently about an instance when I overcame one of my usual triggers by planning ahead. That was a real confidence-builder for me, and I wondered if I could create the experience again.
As you all know, I love a good experiment. So in preparation for this post, I conducted a little test yesterday with another of my triggers–the dreaded candy bar. I wanted to see if I could eat a candy bar without feeling the overwhelming urge to binge (or worse). I knew that I’d need to go into the experiment feeling strong, so I made sure to get a good run in and to eat a healthy breakfast and a lighter lunch than usual.
I bought a Twix around 3:30pm and ate it at my desk. I waited for the inevitable surge of guilt and self-loathing.
3:35pm. Nothing.
3:40pm. Still feeling strong.
4:00pm. I had a meeting and was totally distracted from the experiment. Oops!
I didn’t expect to run screaming into the street, but I did anticipate more of a struggle, more negative self-talk. It seems that, at least for me, planning ahead really helps in coping with triggers. This is very valuable information for me, because I’m heading home for July 4 and I’ll be sorely tested by stressful family situations and copious amounts of unhealthy food. Which brings me to my next point…
These are my three biggest triggers for disordered eating:
- People who expect me to be a big eater. There are certain friends and family members who were around me when I was at the height of my binge-y disordered eating behavior. Because I remained fairly slender, they thought I just had a super-high metabolism and ate like a horse. This, sadly, was not the case. When I’m around those people now, they expect to see the same huge appetite, and they often become angry or frustrated (I know–it doesn’t make sense to me either) when I eat smaller portions.
- Certain foods. “Bad” foods, in particular. The list includes, but is not limited to, anything in the cake/pastry/cookie family, nuts and nut butters (I know they’re good for you, but I have to be really careful with them), fast food, candy bars, anything fried or processed, breads, and Italian food (particularly pasta and pizza). Eating out at all used to be a huge trigger for me, but I’ve gotten much better about that.
- Feelings. I’m definitely an emotional eater. The biggest culprits are feelings of guilt, shame, rejection, criticism, loneliness, restlessness, boredom, anxiety, sadness, and excitement. (Yes, even some “good” emotions trigger disordered eating for me.)
What are your triggers? How do you cope with them? Does planning ahead help you, or does it make you more anxious?
My triggers are cheese (the full fat cheddar variety) — I can eat the low fat cheeses (cottage cheese and Philadelphia) in moderation, but not the full fat, hard version …. also chips …. also chocolate ….. and coca-cola.
Planning is absolutely the *key*. If I plan healthy meals with a few (very few) allowed treats I don’t feel the need to binge.
I think “unplanned eating” is the recipe for disaster for people with emotional eating problems, or ending up TOO hungry (due to poor planning) and then picking something high fat, high calorie for instant gratification.
mine is so chemical but one which is a trigger none the less.
i get such a SPIKE in my bloodsugar with processed white—-which then leads to a crash—-and MORE PROCESSED WHITE.
it’s ugly.
hence my trying to stick with the lumpybumpyBROWN everything.
Wow, what an experiment! I’m glad you did so well with it (no doubts that you wouldn’t) but I can only imagine what a confidence booster it must be for you to know you can handle it with a family visit right around the corner.
Sometimes it’s hard but you have a great point, if perhaps we can become focused and aware then perhaps we can take steps to control the urges. One of my biggest triggers is emotional…feeling like a failure, guilt, rejection - they all trigger the want of comfort food. Chips and cokes…I could drown my sorrow in that stuff!
~K
Remember that people who are uncomfortable with your eating habits are projecting their own self issues onto you. It is NOT about you, and you need to keep that in your preparation arsenal for those situations. On top of that, if someone asks why you are eating light, tell them the truth: that you are a body in training, which means making good choices all around, not relying on your metabolism to fix bad choices you make with your mouth.
Being an under-eater, my triggers are sadness, depression, and loneliness. I don’t think I starve myself out of regular stress, but that my body probably just burns a lot more calories when I am stressed. I hate to eat alone, so a big issue lately has been not cooking dinner for just myself when my husband isn’t home with me, I eat nothing, and then I end up snacking on a few chips or something later. Nothing filling, but I still feel gross doing it. When I’m sad or depressed, the act of eating absolutely disgusts me (I rank it up there with bathroom functions) and I just can’t get food near my mouth.
When I’m happy, that’s when I put on weight. But, I did decide it was time to drop some poundage for my wedding, and I did it in a fairly healthy way and got back down to high school weight. The thing is, I’ve been married almost a year and have not gained any of it back. I’m happy at this weight, but I do see myself doing a few disordered things to maintain it. Since I’m not on a regular exercise schedule, I do things like putting harsh restrictions on not eating past a certain hour, even if I haven’t had dinner, or even if I’m bartending and will easily still be awake the full four hours recommended after eating, I skip a healthy lunch but will eat a bag of chips, drink coffee before breakfast even though I know that coffee erases my appetite completely, stopping eating while I am still hungry, weighing myself (there was a scale in our house when we moved in, or else I still wouldn’t know my weight). I would much prefer to use exercise and a healthy diet for weight maintenance.
Thank you for sharing your triggers! Sorry for too long of a comment once again, and good hope for your summer!!
My big trigger is my self worth.
If I’m feeling unworthy, I punish myself by starving myself. I’ve always done it…and I do struggle with it more than I’d like.
Eating out is not as bad. I tend to drink a lot of water before I eat and take my time while I eat.
I think it’s when I’m alone and feeling unlovable is when my trigger runs rampant. It’s been giving me hell for the past couple of weeks.
It’s funny because in the black society, thus type of thinking is flawed and looked down upon but my family is the reason why I struggle with this.
Anyway, I’m a survivor. So I need to deal with it and cope.
My craving is for String cheese..weird huh? I like the post!
Chocolate and Fast Foods are triggers. So are emotions.
Weight is a major theme in my family on my mom’s side. Everyone is comparing who looks thinner, who looks heavier. “beauty” is considered to be a weight issue. If you are overweight, you aren’t pretty and then it’s a reflection of your parent.
I know my mom means the best and wants for me to have a healthy body, but she harps SO FREAKIN MUCH about my weight, that it drives me to comfort food. I’ve tried to tell her that she isn’t helping me with the negative comments, but she is who she is. I have to find a better way to cope.
But it really does get to me…. sorry, sore subject based on recent comments made by her..
[…] concept came to mind yesterday when I was writing my post about triggers. I was thinking about my “people” trigger and recalling the reaction of my friend when […]
I think it’s great that you put yourself in a situation where you might normally be tempted to binge-eat…and you were successful in NOT doing so! It seems so important to just stay aware of what you’re doing, and recognize in advance what you DON’T want to do. I know you can make it through these other instances, too.
Thank you for your post. I suffer from disordered eating and I am trying to get better. I had not thought about identifying my triggers and I think I need to spend some time doing that.
What is your project - I would be interested to hear more about it.
the combination of negative emotions AND popcorn or crisps are like the devil to me.
Thank you so much for writing about this. I’ve had boulemia for over 10 years, quit in 2001 but had a flare up a couple of weeks ago. So I’m a bit stressed again that it might come back.