Jun 16 2008
Giving Up the Fight
About a week and a half ago, my company surprised me with a promotion. And a raise. A fairly sizable raise.
Great news, right?
I’m grateful and appreciative, I truly am, but I’m also a little bit frustrated with the whole thing. I mean, I had a plan. I had decided to take the PRAXIS next month, apply for the Teaching Fellows program, and be in a classroom by Fall 2009.
(Yes–even though I’m pretty sure that writing fiction is not my purpose, I still love the idea of teaching as a career because (1) working with kids is incredibly fulfilling for me; (2) I’m good at it; (3) it would be a good schedule when we have children of our own; and (4) I’d have summers free to focus on whatever purpose-driven pursuits I’d like.)
This whole thing of my company giving me the position I’ve been pushing to get for six months and giving me a substantial raise just makes everything more complicated. For one thing, I feel an increased sense of loyalty to the company. I know they really want me to stay, and I know they did this with the intention of doing whatever it takes to keep me.
For another, my husband and I are saving to buy a house. We live in the District of Columbia, which is one of the most overpriced housing markets in the country. (We currently rent a one bedroom loft-style condo. The owner offered to sell it to us for $479,000. For a CONDO.) If I took a teaching job, it would cut my salary in half and we’d need to save for at least two years before we’d feel comfortable buying. If I stayed at my current job for another year, however, we could buy a house next fall instead of waiting until fall 2010, which would mean the world to me. I’ve been dying to “nest” ever since we got married, and I’d really like to be settled in a house before we have kids.
I talked to my husband about it, and his preference would be that I continue at my current job for another year. However, he also said that if I’m miserable at work, I should go ahead and follow through with my original plan. So it’s entirely up to me. Sigh.
My typical M.O. with situations like this is to torture myself for weeks with long internal battles about which is the appropriate path. I’m going to do my best not to do that this time. (Remember–I’m no longer a Fighter! I’ve become an Adapter.)
What I’ve decided is that there is absolutely no need for me to make a decision right now. I don’t have to have all the answers. I’m going to proceed with taking the PRAXIS in July, and go ahead and submit an application for the Teaching Fellows program in the fall. I won’t find out until the spring whether I’ve been accepted. If I don’t get in, then I can try again with a different alternative certification program. If I’m selected as a Fellow, then I can decide at that point whether I want to quit my job or defer for another year.
How about you? Are you currently struggling with a difficult decision? How do you weigh the options?
Hi Jen,
Funny, but I was in a similiar situation regarding teaching, too! I did infact take the PRAXIS so I would at least have that part done and then I could make my decision from there. I passed (yay!) but for me the right decision was NOT to pursue teaching. I wasn’t comfortable cutting my salary down that much either as then I too would never buy a house (I live in an overpriced market, too, Northern NJ.)
Things have a funny way of working themselves out. I truly believe ‘going with your gut’ is key to many decisions. Also, if you think you are going to regret NOT going for the teaching thing then you probably SHOULD DO IT! As you mentioned, you will put the wheels in motion and take it from there. Remember, that is really all you can do. Unfortunately, you are not really in control of the outcome, but you can put everything in place to get there.
I am notorious for making rash decisions, and freaking out over everything and for having to know right now what to do. Not 2 minutes from now, but NOW! LOL…
I think everything you said sounds great! No one can predict the future, but sometimes we need to take a risk to get somewhere in life.
Hope this helps : )
Anna
Nope, no current struggle comes to mind at the moment, but when they do I analyse and over-analyse some more. I have to go over every possible solution and outcome just to see which one might be more appealing and even then rarely do I make a decision. True to form, I wait until the very last possible moment to swing one way or another and then there is no going back.
I think you are making a good decision, go ahead with your plan of applying for things and if all comes to fruition, go with your heart. Do what you love and the rest will follow.
~K
I prefer the tried-and-true pro/con list. It forces me to think rationally about important decisions. True, gut-feelings are important, but they can be misleading. I think you’re right to wait, though, and see how the certification proceeds. No need to jump the gun and make a decision now when there is technically not a decision to make—you don’t know if you’ll pass the test (though, good luck and I hope you do!), so there’s no point in worrying yourself about it.
Anyway, that’s just my two cents. Good luck!
I think I’m in that both in regards to school.
I personally believe to always have a backup plan. Just trying to figure out the main plan and the backup is quite confusing.
I’m glad you will keep going with both. What is right for you will work itself out in the long run, I’m sure.
Oh, and congrats on the promotion and raise.
I feel like that State Farm insurance commercial, “Yeah, I’m there.”
I agree to take the test and move forward from there. I would even clear your mind of all the alternatives past the test right now. The test is the end, not the means to an end. After that, re-evaluate where you are in your journey and make the decision based on that moment. You don’t want to spend all your energy speculating right now when you don’t even know what your factors will be at the time you take the test.
congrats on the raise/promotion…eben tho it’s making your decision-making more difficult. I often make pro/con lists and see how balanced/unbalanced it looks. When my husband and I were deciding where to buy a home, he had this great idea to take five significant criteria (up-and-comingness; safety; proximity to stuff; price; love the area) and we each took a piece of paper and ranked the importance of the factors. Then we compared - was so interesting to see where each ranked each one. That helped up decide to live where we do.
Wow can I relate to this. I was searching for a new job for the past 1.5 years. In that time, I went through the application process for Teach for America. In the end, I got a job that is somewhat similar to the old job, but with more diversified experiences and more money. (Since we have a house on the hill — we need the money! lol)
Also, can I just tell you that it is possible to buy a house around here for that kind of money (aka condo money). It seems impossible, you just might have to look for a long time but they are out there!
Anyway, I don’t know the right answer for you but I think patience in figuring it out is something you will never regret. And definitely talk to a lot of people about teaching in DC public schools — I’m sure it’s not ideal either. (Nothing is — it’s just about what’s right for you!)
That’s quite a big decision right there! There are definitely pros and cons and both sides. I think going through with taking the test and applying for the program is a good idea — like you said, you can always defer, and at least you won’t look back later and WISH you had.