First, an update on my various personal development experiments, which–considering the number of them I (wisely or not) have going on–are going surprising well…

• I’m on my 15th day with no alcohol at all, and I absolutely do not miss it. After this makeover is complete, I may have the occasional glass of wine, but I highly doubt that I’ll ever be a habitual social drinker again. I just feel too good without it!
• Yesterday was the last day of my week without complaints. I learned that I don’t complain that often, and when I do, it’s typically about something in my physical environment (e.g., the bloody heat!!!) rather than about another person. Good to know…
• I’ve been fairly consistent in getting up at 5:00am over the past week (I allow myself a window until 5:30, which I’ve used three times). I did sleep in until 8:00am yesterday and I didn’t meditate–I was exhausted!–so I’m adding a day onto the end of the makeover. I think I need to learn how to meditate properly though. I just don’t feel like I’m doing it right.
• I’ve been doing pretty well with not shopping. I wound up being treated for my birthday at my planned eating out events last Sunday and Tuesday, so I spent much less than I had anticipated. Most of my other spending was in the “allowable” category I set out before beginning this challenge (gas, fruit, personal hygiene items), but I did have one unplanned eating out event. A friend was having a really horrible week at work and asked me to pick up a bottle of wine and come over. I did (but didn’t drink any of it!) and we wound up grabbing dinner at Chipotle. I also had an unplanned food-related expenditure on Friday evening, which brings me to my confession…

I had a disordered eating episode on Friday. I won’t go into details because I know that many people who struggle with disordered eating find graphic descriptions to be triggering. I’m not quite sure what caused it. I wasn’t having a particularly stressful day–if anything, it was the opposite. Work was SLOW. I did make a silly mistake on a document, and my boss teased me about it. I’m an obsessive perfectionist, so things like that really bother me–that was possibly a factor.

I wish I could say that I “couldn’t help it”, but the truth is that I knew exactly what I was doing and could have chosen to stop at any time. I just didn’t want to. Sad but true. After it was over, my old friends Guilt and Shame came over for a visit and spent the rest of the day with me. I was afraid that the episode would trigger a huge backslide, but it didn’t. That says something about how far I’ve come over the past 13 years. For anyone else out there who struggles with this issue, remember–one slip does not undo all of your hard work!!

I feel great today! I got my 5-mile run in, and I’m babysitting my niece tonight. Life is good, and I have a lot to be thankful for.

Thanks for “listening”!

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