Yes, this is it. Today. My 30th birthday.

For some reason, I’ve been filled with anxiety about it, but the truth is that I feel pretty much the same as I did yesterday (except that my knee hurts–is that normal?). I think back to all the things I’ve said over the years that I’d do by 30–get married, have a child, write a book, travel the world, visit all 50 states. Some I’ve done, some I haven’t, and some are in progress. All in all, I’m in a really good place.

My life has been… odd. I’ve worked as a copy editor, a McDonald’s cashier, a cocktail waitress, a paralegal, a salesgirl in a clothing store, a nuclear propulsion mechanic, a program analyst, a trade specialist, a program assistant at a nonprofit, a barrista, and a defense contractor. I’ve lived in four countries and five states, and I’ve visited a total of 13 countries and 34 states. I’ve been married and a stepmother, divorced, and married again. I’ve trained for three marathons–only to get hurt and have to quit–and I’m training for another one (this is the year!!!). I’ve fallen down, gotten up, given up, and persevered. It’s been a real roller coaster ride, but it’s been great. I’ve learned a lot along the way…

30 Things I’ve Learned in 30 Years:

1. There are no unfixable mistakes. No matter how badly you’ve messed up, no matter how hopeless it seems, there’s always a way to make it better.
2. You have to learn to be with your pain–whether it’s physical, emotional, or spiritual. Trying to run from it, mask it, or drug it just makes it worse.
3. An ounce of self-confidence is work ten tons of experience. If you believe you can do it, so will everyone else.
4. Life’s too short to be miserable. Figure out what’s making you unhappy and change it.
5. Finding true love is the work of a lifetime. You can’t sit on the couch and expect the perfect man/woman to come to you. You have to put yourself out there. (Yahoo Personals worked for me!)
6. No one will do it for you. If you want your life to be fulfilling and amazing, YOU are the only one who can make it happen.
7. Trusting people and being vulnerable means that sometimes you’re gonna get hurt. Do it anyway. It’s worth the risk.
8. “I don’t know what I want to do” is kind of a cop-out. Most of us don’t have a clue, or even if we do, we don’t know how to make it happen. Pick something and start doing it. The rest will work itself out.
9. The most valuable thing you have is your time. Use it to do things that enrich your life. (A 12-hour Law & Order SVU marathon does not enrich your life–I’m still working on this one.)
10. Stop being so hard on yourself. Yes, you make mistakes, but so does everyone else. As long as you learn from them and try to do better next time, you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to do.
11. Be good to your siblings, and forgive them when they’re not good to you. They’re the only people on earth who truly understand what your childhood was like, and they’ll be there long after your parents pass on. Don’t let them drift away.
12. Do something scary once in a while–it’s good for the soul.
13. Let it go. Whatever happened, whatever you did, whatever was done to you–make peace with it and let it go.
14. Try to take it easy on the booze. Nothing good comes from getting plastered on a regular basis.
15. Don’t glare at people who have noisy babies on the airplane. (Don’t you think they’d also like to enjoy a quiet, peaceful trip?) In a few years, it will be you or someone you love and you’ll look back on it and feel like an ass.
16. Call a friend or family member once a week–even if you’re the hermit-y “I prefer email” type. It means a lot to the people you love to hear from you.
17. Don’t try to teach someone a lesson. It never works, and they just end up thinking you’re an a-hole.
18. Learn to listen–really, really listen. When someone’s talking to you or even arguing with you, don’t be planning what you’re going to say while they’re talking. Try to hear them.
19. Love is not all you need. You also need peace of mind, self-respect, a sense of purpose, and an identity that’s all your own.
20. You can’t take things back. What’s said stays said and what’s done stays done. Keep this in mind–especially when you’re angry.
21. Don’t be an angry driver. We’re all just trying to get from point A to point B–the guy who just cut you off is not the devil. He’s just a guy. Refer to #13 and let it go.
22. When you feel depressed, give exercise a try. A good, heart-pumping workout can really boost your spirits.
23. Hold on to who you are, but not too tightly. Stick to your guns and stand up for what you believe in, but be flexible enough to grow and change for the better.
24. Don’t use credit cards. They will lead you down the path of financial ruin. Live on the money you have, not the money you want.
25. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Laugh more, stress less.
26. Try to forgive your parents. In most cases, they did the best they knew how to do and didn’t set out with the intention of turning you into a neurotic mess. Therapy works wonders!
27. Learn the difference between assertive and aggressive. Embrace the former and avoid the latter.
28. Be a volunteer. Committing to something bigger than yourself with enrich your life more than you can imagine.
29. Consciously do something nice for yourself at least once a week. Make a point of it.
30. Never give up. Never, never give up. Keep trying until the day you leave this earth.

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