May 22 2008

You’ve Got to Want It

Published by admin at 12:50 am under Advice, Personal Development, Purpose

In her post yesterday, JoLynn at The Fit Shack (by whom I’m always greatly inspired) said this:

“When it comes to weight loss, you’ve got to want it more than you want to use food. Your desire to lose weight and get fit must be greater than your desire to emotionally eat or to drown yourself in sugar addiction. Once you have the desire then you can move on…”

This prompted a flurry of instrospective soul searching on my part. Do I really want to be healthy and fit? If so, why doesn’t my lifestyle match my desire? Do I really want to be a successful writer? If so, why is it sometimes so hard to get myself writing? It seems like my best self, my Higher Self, wants these things, but my day-to-day self (the Talking Self or conscious mind) and my subconscious (the Younger Self or inner child) either aren’t interested in these goals or don’t want to do the work it takes to achieve them.

This realization led to another, bigger question: How can I get my Talking Self and Younger Self onboard with what my Higher Self wants and knows to be in my best interest?

Here are some ideas for boosting your desire and communicating it to all parts of your Self:

  • Get rid of your options. I wrote an entire post about this one. This technique works particularly well with the Talking Self. Talking Self knows that if I quit my job, I’d better find a way to make money writing. If I post a goal on this website and then don’t achieve it, it’s Talking Self who will feel embarrassed. Getting rid of your safety net is a great way to get Talking Self motivated.
  • Stoke your desire. Make a collage that represents your goal. This will be especially appealing to the Younger Self, who loves pictures and creative projects. Make a binder and collect articles related to what you’re trying to achieve. Carry some kind of symbol with you on a keychain or in your purse that reminds you of your goal. Keep the fires burning!
  • Act “as if”. This is another tool that’s very helpful with the Talking Self. Live your life as though you’ve achieved your goal. (If your goal is to get rich, this does not mean you should start spending money.) Let’s say your goal is to be a best-selling author. What would a best-selling author do? Well, first and foremost, she’d probably write. She’d also collect ideas for future books, read voraciously, and promote her work. Imagine your goal is to lose weight and be healthy and fit. What would a fit person do? She’d make healthy choices when eating out. She’d dress to complement her body. She’d exercise regularly. See what I mean?
  • Find a support network. I’ve posted about this topic as well. Get yourself a personal cheerleader or a life coach. Enlist the support of your family and friends. Ask them to encourage you when you’re struggling, to remind you of how badly you want to achieve your goal, and to stop you from giving up. Join an online support group or visit a forum. Blog about your goal. Whatever you do, find people who believe in you and will keep cheering you on. This will help to win over both the Talking Self and the Younger Self.
  • Practice visualization. Your subconscious, your Younger Self, has to believe that your goal is possible. How can you make that happen? By regularly visualizing yourself as having achieved your goal. Every time you engage in a visualization exercise, your Younger Self will become more and more confident in what you’re doing.
  • Reboot your hard drive. We all have tons of negative ideas, beliefs, and statements swirling around in our minds at any given moment. Zandria forces herself to follow every negative thought with a positive thought. (”I can’t do this–it will never happen!” should be followed by “I AM doing this!”) You can also engage in proactive reprogramming. Write a handful of affirmations for yourself–be sure to set them in the present tense (I am) rather than the future (I will). Mine might be (1) I am a successful novelist; (2) I am a lean, mean running machine!; and (3) I achieve everything I set my mind to.

Do you feel like different parts of you want different things? How do you reconcile them? What are your techniques for generating desire?

4 Responses to “You’ve Got to Want It”

  1. MizFiton 22 May 2008 at 4:59 am

    busy workmorning but had to STOP and letcha know as always youve gotten me thinking.

    I shall write my affirmations later today—will I share? who can say :)

    depends what they end up being…

  2. Cynthiaon 22 May 2008 at 8:05 am

    For me personally, it’s like I have two sides to the same personality. I have the aggressive, “go for it” chica with the “YOU only LIVE ONCE” mantra then I have the passive, anxious sistah who waits until things to happen before she reacts who gets scared of change because it’s too new!

    What I’m doing is applying for things that I may or may not get but IF I do get it, I’m going to follow through with it. I won’t allow myself to back out because my life (which isn’t horrible) has more potential than I’m allowing myself. So, it’s time for me to make my move!

    I’m also all about growing and moving forward whether I want too or not.

    I just have to learn to curb my perfectionist streak more effectively and realize that you do learn as much from failure as success.

    Awesome post. I might springboard on this topic because it’s at the forefront of my mind. I will be linking to you as well! :)

  3. Leahon 22 May 2008 at 9:18 am

    I’m so stalled right now it’s not even funny. I needed to read this, but I’m not sure it’s sinking in just yet.

  4. JoLynn Braleyon 22 May 2008 at 1:33 pm

    Hi Jen! You know what, we’re so on the same page - that’s probably why you feel inspiration from me (which BTW, thank you very much for the wonderful compliment! :) ). You cannot see something in another person that you don’t already have in yourself. ;)

    Yeah, this whole inner struggle thing - I was just thinking about this last night myself! And it’s not just with weight, but with many other areas of my life.

    I’m with ya on all of it - acting as if, using affirmations (did a whole series on loving yourself thin), and I think it’s so important to feed your mind daily with the positive. Thing is though, that until you change those inner beliefs that are often unconscious, the positive thoughts on top are like icing on a mud pie (love that line, I didn’t come up w/it). ;)

    Thanks for linking to The Fit Shack, too, and I am putting it out there in the Universe that we both move beyond our limiting beliefs and allow ourselves to soar, sound good to you?

    :D

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