May 20 2008
How to Be a Great Cheerleader
Cheerleader assignments went out yesterday! Goooooooooo team!
(And by the way, I think it would be great to have updates from each of teams in a few weeks or so–I’m dying to see how this experiment turns out!)
Now that we’re all paired up, what should we be doing to support each other? How do we get started with our teammates? What’s this whole thing about anyway?
Well… in anticipation of these questions, Semi-Charmed Wife is proud to present the five Bs of All-Star cheerleading. Rah rah rah!
- Be there. Make a special effort to be fully present for your teammate. Give her your undivided attention–even if it’s only for a 30-second email or a 5-minute phone call. Remember, this is for you too. You’ll get out of it exactly what you put into it. If you’re a super busy career woman, write appointments with your teammate on your calendar and treat them like unbreakable engagements. If you’re an overworked SAHM, devote five minutes before the kids wake up or after they go to bed to connecting with your teammate.
- Be proactive. Don’t wait for your teammate to contact you–check in with her on a regular basis. Maybe you haven’t heard from her for a few days, but it could be because she’s in a really tough spot and needs some encouragement. Or maybe she’s slipped up and she’s embarrassed. Or maybe she’s dealing with a family crisis. Or… well, you see what I mean. Check in on your partner on a regular basis. And don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help when you need it. Your teammate is there to catch you if you fall!
- Be a good listener. Sometimes we just need to vent, don’t we? This was one of the first “issues” my husband and I dealt with. Every time I’d come home from work and talk about a problem, he’d start telling me what I could do to fix it. There is nothing more frustrating to a person who just needs to let off steam than getting a flood of unsolicited advice. (We finally came up with a strategy–I tell him exactly what I want. Works wonders.) When your teammate comes to you with a problem, pay attention to what she says and how she says it. Is she asking for suggestions or input, or is she just venting?
- Be in the booster club. Success can be threatening. Imagine that you and your teammate are both working on weight loss. She loses ten pounds and you gain six. Can you still be happy for her? Of course you can! You provided valuable support and contributed to her success. It feels good to celebrate victories–even if they’re not yours. And every goal your teammate reaches is just proof that the battle can be won!
- Be honest about your limitations. This is soooo important. If all you can commit to is one short email per week, be up front about it. There’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries. It’s far better to clearly establish your limits early on rather than set expectations too high and be unable to follow through.
Do you have any tips on how to be a good cheerleader–especially any of you who are participating in the cheerleader project?
I have nothing to add at all as youve nailed it.
mainly, for me, the being a good listeners (emailreader?) as you may see what you think SHOULD be their goals—-and it mightcould be something in which they arent interested at all!
when I was a lifecoach I asked myself that all the time…if I was HEARING THEM and was I sure to keep my stuff (thoughts/ideas/values) OUT OF THE MIX.
thanks again for doing this!
M.
Listening is HUGE.
I need to get in contact with my cheerleader. I feel like a headless chicken today!
I will have to come back and read this, just to make sure I’m covering all my bases.
Be prepared to ask questions/ask for more. A biggie I have learned through coaching (and hopefully MizFit can back this up) is that we typically have all the answers within already, but since we are living inside the box, we don’t always see them. A person who is truly listening without their own agenda can really help us open the doors inside our own head to the ideas that have been there all along, but that we were ignoring or just hadn’t seen yet. Using questions formed out of genuine curiosity, we can really move our partners forward. As for asking for more, again, we all live and breath within our own perceived limitations. That outsider does not see those limitations; only possibilities. Continually ask for more, and your partner will continue to rise to the challenge, breaking down limiting beliefs every step of the way.
I love this challenge! I can’t wait to get started, and I really hope to finally remove so much of the clutter that has been holding me back. Maybe even get a schedule and stick to it!
Hi Cynthia! I just sent you an email, looking forward to hearing from you and setting goals and being there for each other!
I like what you wrote, Jen, about listening and being the booster club. I think listing the goals and how you want to obtain them are good for starting off the cheerleading. Also, to understand that it’s OK to have different goals - such as - one wants to lose a specific amount of weight, but the other wants to exercise and not havea specific weight goal, if this makes sense.
I also like the idea of a schedule and when you can expect to send an email or update to your cheerleader.