May 06 2008
Entitlement
If you haven’t done so already, go right now and read Crabby McSlacker’s post about entitlement. Go ahead. I’ll wait.
Wasn’t that an amazing post??? This is SUCH a huge issue for me. Entitlement has kept me from finishing a novel, writing a short story, training for a marathon, enjoying the city I live in… I could go on, but it’s demoralizing.
I’d like to try something new. Every time I plan to do something (go for a training run, write for an hour, etc.), and then DON’T do it because “I deserve to relax” or “I worked hard today” or “I need to destress”, I’m going to write a quick post about it. It will say something along the lines of “I know I said I’d work on my short story today, but I feel like I deserve to read gossip blogs for an hour instead of working on my life’s dream.”
Yeah.
My hope is that doing that will put my entitlement and resistance into perspective and keep me accountable.
Do you have any tricks for overcoming entitlement? I’d sure love to hear them…
wow, that struck home…more often than not I can hear that little voice saying…”i earned it, go ahead and…”
At least for me, I have attempted to curb my entitlement to those moments when I want it and not because ‘i deserve it.’ I keep a list of goal/rewards that if I want Y then I need to achieve X. If I don’t then I don’t get Y. I try not to let these include things that are considered my responsibilities i.e. job/family/house chores/school etc. These are things that I want to achieve outside of my normal everyday life.
Take for example - I want this really cool $200 dollar watch for running (GPS/timeing/etc). I could easily tell myself that I work hard for my paycheck, it’s my money and I can afford it, however I don’t. Instead it is a reward…if I can get my 5k time below 30 min (currently @34) then I can buy this for myself.
I still struggle with entitlement, but I’m working on it….
~K
The extra credit one would most likely be my biggie.
I have a feeling some of the others probably also apply, but since I don’t have food issues of the over-indulgence ilk, I didn’t relate to those right away. I’d have to think them over a little and catch myself in the act.
OMG, I felt like someone just opened my diary and read straight from it. “I need to destress.” When I say that to Greg he says it’s a load of crap, but I use it every day. I think we were trained to NOT feel entitled as women growing up and then as adults, we feel “Damn, I AM entitled” and so you are entitled to everything, except the motivation to do the things that will make you happy. Arggh, it’s not an easy thing to fix. Thanks for sending us the link!
I think the thing that helps me the most is asking myself what will make my happier in the long run. I can have 5 minutes of bliss and feel like a blob for three days or I can forgo the temptation and enjoy the rewards.
Will watching TV really make me feel better than playing the piano or working on a creative project? Will eating too much make me feel better than just eating till I’m satisfied. Will sleeping in and running late make me happier than getting up at a leisurely pace?
Of course sometimes I just say screw it and get the immediate rewards.
But that happens less and less as I feel how good making the right choices can be.
Very true. I think that sense of entitlement is definitely what gets people into trouble (myself included). You know you should work out after work, but you just don’t feel like it. Or you tell yourself you have too much work to do. Excuses are never-ending!
Hey thanks so much for the link!
I love that idea about writing posts like: ““I know I said I’d work on my short story today, but I feel like I deserve to read gossip blogs for an hour instead of working on my life’s dream.”
I’m SO guilty of saying “I deserve a “10 minute” break to surf the internet” and then an hour later I’m still clicking just one more link… (said the woman who swears she’s going to finish that novel one day but never does).