I’m writing a series on leadership in response to your feedback. Please keep the good ideas coming!

What makes a good leader? Is it charisma? Poise and presence? Drive and determination? The answer is yes… and no. The charisma that makes Bill Clinton a compelling speaker and a natural leader (regardless of what one might think of his politics and personal life) works really well in the White House, but might be overkill in a small sales office. The ability of an Army general to command respect and loyalty is appropriate for the military, but could be intimidating in an elementary school classroom. Different environments call for different types of leaders with qualities and skills appropriate for the needs and circumstances of the organization. However, I believe that there are three qualities that all good leaders possess. The first of these (you’ll just have to wait for the other two!) is self-confidence. 

Human beings are intuitive and emotional creatures, even if we don’t always realize it. Have you ever been around someone who is pacing the room or fidgeting and found yourself feeling nervous just from being in their presence? Have you ever spent time with a negative person and found yourself feeling drained, listless, and blue? We tend to pick up on and react to the emotional state of the people in our environment. So if you as a leader are insecure and lack confidence, your team will pick up on that. They will not have faith in you because you don’t have faith in yourself.

Developing self-confidence is the work of a lifetime. It requires overcoming self-doubt and fear and resistance. It calls upon us to resolve old issues and conflicts from our childhoods. It takes time. But the key to being a great leader is not necessarily having self-confidence, but projecting and communicating self-confidence. You can being doing that right now.

Act as if. This method has saved me more times than I can count. I’ve been a consultant for the government (both as a federal employee and as a contractor) for years. As a consultant, I am often tasked with supervising projects covering topics in which I have absolutely no experience. My job is not to know everything there is to know about the subject matter; it’s to act as a leader and shepherd the project from inception to completion.

It takes a healthy measure of self-confidence to walk into a meeting with ten people who know far more about the project than I ever will, and then tell them what to do. I couldn’t do this without self-confidence. To get myself through the initial phases of the project where I’m often feeling confused and befuddled, I use a method called “act as if”.  I may have absolutely no idea what’s going on, but I act as if I do. I use my imagination and just pretend that I know exactly what I’m doing. If someone asks a question I can’t answer, I simply say, “Let me think about that and get back to you.” If I feel insecure, I act as if I feel confident. If I feel stressed, I act as if I feel calm and centered. If I feel drained, I act as if I’m filled with positive energy. It may sound overly simplistic but, believe me, it works.

Pay attention to your body. Your mother was right—you need to stand up straight! Good posture projects an aura of self-confidence. Do some research on body language (LINK TO EMPATHY POST) and pay attention to what your body is saying to others. Hunched shoulders can be interpreted as an effort to make yourself appear smaller, to deflect attention from yourself. Crossed arms can mean you’re feeling defensive and trying to shut others out. Make a habit of standing tall, head erect, shoulders back, arms at your sides. It may feel unnatural at first, but it looks like the stance of a born leader.

Watch your mouth. I’m not referring to cursing, but there are some “bad words” that you’ll need to eliminate from your vocabulary. There are certain phrases that rob you of your power and authority. Replace them with phrases that empower you and inspire confidence in you. Instead of “I don’t know”, say “I’ll look into that and get back to you” or “I’d like to think about your question before I respond”. Instead of saying that you “can’t” do something, propose an alternative. Instead of saying “that won’t work”, say “I think I have a better approach”.

You’ll also need to eliminate the “litter” from your speech. Try this little experiment. Go out to lunch with a friend and tape record your conversation (with her permission, of course). How many times did you say “like” or “you know”? How often were your words punctuated with “um”, “uh”, or “so”? Do you have a “signature phrase” that you inject into your language? A good leader is a confident, concise speaker. Learn to speak without using these verbal crutches. Also, be sure to make eye contact with the person you’re talking to. Don’t stare at the wall or let your eyes dart around the room—really look at the person you’re speaking with.

Tune in tomorrow for more on what it takes to be a great leader!

This post was included in the Carnival of Inspiration and Motivation and the Carnival of Improving Life. Check out the other great articles!

Trackback URI | Comments RSS