Very Bad Cat was one of the winners of my Pay It Forward contest, and she has selected a blog review for her prize. Lucky for me, her blog is one of the few on my daily feed list, which makes writing this review a pleasure.

VBC is one of my favorite bloggers. First and foremost, she’s a great storyteller. Reading her posts is like listening to your best friend tell you about the crazy day she’s been having or kvetch to you about her job woes. Second, she has a phenomenal sense of humor. She says the things we’re all thinking but aren’t bold enough to say. Third, she’s honest with herself and with people in her life. She owns up to her mistakes, learns from them, and moves on. I asked VBC to answer a few questions so we could get to know her better.

SCW: What motivated you to start your blog?

VBC: Somehow or another, I ran into Dad Gone Mad’s blog. I was hooked, and I started reading a ton of blogs. It occurred to me that I could do this too. It would give me a good reason to write more, and maybe make some internet friends. I felt like I needed an outlet–a place to say what I wanted–and I liked the idea of having a chronology archived online. It had been years since I had written creatively and/or written about my life, and I decided it was time to start again.

SCW: What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned in your life?

VBC: Look out for yourself, because no one else will. No one. Yes, you can have family that you love dearly, friends that you adore, and a solid marriage, but even with all of that, each of those people have their own needs, flaws, and limitations. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much someone loves you- it’s about what they’re capable of. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much you love someone- it’s about what you’re capable of. Even in business and in leadership, you have to recognize, accept, and deal with it- everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and you have to work around them. Especially your own. You’ll never be happy if you can’t understand and accept that everyone is trying to find their own way in the world. Sometimes what you want or need from them fits into what they’re capable of giving you, and sometimes it doesn’t. It isn’t about their love or devotion, it’s about capability. I am trying to learn to give myself that freedom and not feel like I have to give people what they want or need from me when I just don’t have it to give. That’s the last piece, and the hardest, because I’m not good at accepting my own limitations and possibly letting people down.

SCW: What advice would you give to yourself ten years ago?

VBC: Save money. It may not seem like it right now, but you have more disposable income than you will have most of your life. Do something with it- and I don’t mean buying crap. Knock these silly men off their pedestals; your father, your boyfriend, and your guy friends. They’re good people, and they love you, but they will not protect you. They won’t shelter you and keep you safe. That’s your job. Care less about what these men think- use that energy to think about who you are and who you want to be. They will love you anyway. Love is not the elusive perfect solution you think it is. You’ll marry the boyfriend. Just calm the hell down already about marrying the boyfriend. You adore him, and you’re going to train him to expect you to be his light and his life, and you really should be figuring out how to save a piece of yourself to be yours alone. Teach him how to love you without putting you on a shelf. This is much, much more important later on in life. You’ll get the ring.

SCW: You have a great sense of humor–how do you maintain it when the going gets rough?

VBC: Well, what are my choices? When life sucks, you can cry about it, and I do. You can whine about it, and well, we all know how good I am at that. At the end of the day, though, a nice, dark, robust sense of humor will be the only thing that keeps you getting out of bed in the morning. Crying and whining and even raging all have their place, but they should be side dishes to the main entree- an ability to laugh at yourself and the world around you. Because when you strip out all the drama and emotion, it really *is* funny, isn’t it? If it wasn’t you, you’d be rolling around on the floor, wetting yourself. When it *is* you, it’s even more important to laugh about it. I also think that humor gives me some distance that more intense emotion doesn’t. It’s another perspective.

SCW: Where do you hope to be in five years?

VBC: I want to transfer to the local university to finish my degree. I love community college, and if it weren’t for the cheap tuition and the supportive environment, I don’t know where I’d be right now. Still, I’d like to be able to tell the powers that be that I’ve been accepted to and am attending one of the best business schools in the area. I would like to have children. Soon. I need more money and a stronger partner. We’re getting there. If in five years, I’m not pregnant or already a mother, there will be hell to pay. Also, career-wise, I would like a private office. With a couch and a mini-fridge.

A big thank you to VBC for taking the time to enter my contest and participate in the interview. I heartily recommend checking out Very Bad Cat any time you’re in need of a good laugh and an entertaining read.

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