Without question, the best thing about creating and running this website is the people I’ve met. That’s why I’m very pleased to publish today’s post–an interview with Leah, a certified coach. I’ve been corresponding with Leah since I started this website, and I’ve found her to be one of the most insightful, inspiring people I’ve ever “met”. Leah has identified her life’s purpose and is currently working to get her coaching business off the ground. I thought we could all learn something from her–both about how to find and live your purpose, and about what coaching is and how is can be helpful. Please visit her website, Free to be Family, for more information about Leah and her services!

1. What is your life’s purpose, and how did you figure it out?

My life’s purpose is to raise people up to the next level, whatever that level is for them. I believe that it took a slow build over time to finally realize that helping people is more “who I am” than “what I do.” I’ve always donated to charity, given advice to friends, offered to volunteer time for anyone in a bad spot, etc. But it took my participation in an online forum devoted to women who don’t have their own children and have become stepmoms to see clearly that helping people should be my ultimate focus. I focus on family because family has always been incredibly important to me. Today’s divorce rates break my heart, and I often think about how easy it would be to help people stay married forever if they just prioritized each other. So my goal has been to go out and do my part in reducing these terrible statistics.

2. What advice do you have for people who are struggling to find their purpose?

To find your purpose, you must tap into your passion. Many people can’t think of what makes them most passionate, so we use simpler questions to get there. When you are at your happiest, what are you doing? When things come completely naturally to you, what are you doing? Ask 5 people you love the three things they love most about you. How does each statement land for you? Is there a pattern? Many people begin a relationship with a Coach because they are struggling with this very issue. Trust me, your purpose is within you and just waiting for you to open the right door to it!

3. How can a coach help people improve their lives? Is coaching like therapy?

People improve their lives easily through coaching because they are able to focus on their goals, break those goals down into manageable steps, continuously move forward, have a neutral observer bounce back their words and thoughts, take an outside-the-box look at their truth, beliefs, goals, and purpose, and commit to the actions necessary to achieve their goals. Coaching has a snowball effect, in that every success is celebrated between the coach and the client. It feels GOOD to be happy with yourself! When you are happy with yourself, you want to continue that feeling. So you begin achieving goals quickly and easily. Before you know it, you are standing on the mountain peak that wasn’t even visible through the clouds just a short time ago.

Coaching is a form of consulting, not therapy. A coach works only with the information the client gives, and never digs for deeper information, or a history of why a pattern or habit exists. With a coach, the client only moves forward; there is no searching through the past. A coach does not judge or apply her own truth to a client. When the client and coach are in a meeting, the coach is completely focused on the client’s needs, goals, desires, truth, habits, and patterns. The client is perfect as he is, and a desire to change is his alone; the coach only supports and guides him in achieving what he wants. If the coach notices a psychological issue that is blocking a client’s forward movement in a disruptive way, it is the coach’s duty to refer the client to a mental health professional.

4. Describe a typical coaching session.

A typical coaching session begins with getting centered. We take a moment to clear the client’s mind of all the day’s clutter so that she can focus completely on herself and what she’d like to accomplish in the call. Then we state our intentions for the call so that I know what the client wants to work on. It may be a continuation from our last call, or it could be something completely different. It’s always up to the client. Then I ask what is working. This is a tough question for most people to answer at first, because we are always thinking about what could be better or what doesn’t work. When we shift our focus to what is working, it’s usually a whole lot more than we could have imagined, and it resets our mind to a positive flow.

From there, we move into the specifics of what the client wants to work on. It is a give and take of questions and answers, observations, telling the client what I’m hearing from her, making suggestions about what may be holding her back, asking for what she wants, defining action steps, and always asking her for more. The coach believes completely in the client and that all the client’s dreams are possible, so quite often, the coach will ask for more than what the client is ready to believe is attainable. This is very encouraging, and typically opens doors in the client’s mind that she didn’t even realize were closed.

5. Do people have to live in your area in order to use your services?

I conduct my coaching business entirely by phone. The phone creates an ideal listening atmosphere, because one MUST pay attention on the phone to really grasp everything the other person is saying. We don’t have visual cues or distractions on the phone. A coach is trained to withhold all judgment. Not being able to see a client really allows a coach to “see” the client for exactly who he is, because there are no physical first impressions. We are just two voices on the phone, creating an intentional and productive space. Some coaches have even moved to the online format for working with clients, a practice I will eventually add to my services. You can live anywhere in the world, and as long as you have a phone that can call my phone, we can work together.

6. What if I don’t have a lot of extra money–can I afford to hire a coach? What if I want to try it, but I’m not sure I want to buy the package?

Coaching is a valuable experience, so the cost of coaching must be comparable to the value it offers. Every coach sets his or her own fees depending on experience, area of expertise, business volume, costs of business, and many other factors. Most clients realize pretty quickly that the coaching relationship brings value to their lives in the way of financial gain, so the cost of coaching may even be offset by their increased wealth.

I offer a risk free Conditional Consultation to anyone interested in learning more about coaching. This is the best way to see what coaching is, is to experience it first hand. I will coach a person for 20 minutes, and then pause to assess the value of our time. If the person found value in the session and wants to become a client, we will discuss my fees and packages and schedule our next meeting. If the person did not find our session to be a good fit, we part as friends and nothing was lost. In trying to work with budgets, I do offer a few packages that range in cost depending on how often we meet, and clients are always welcome to upgrade or downgrade at any time.

7. You have a focus on relationships and families in your coaching practice. What’s one piece of advice you’d give to an engaged couple? How about to a new stepmom?

To an engaged couple, I would say, “Always listen to each other with your heart. Support each other the way you want to be supported. Be honest when you don’t agree, but come from the position of wanting to reach an agreement together, not to be recognized as being right. Be prepared to compromise, but honor that your beloved is also making a compromise. Love each other unconditionally.”

To a new stepmom, “Always know that you can only control one person, and that person is you. You can control how you react, how you allow others to treat you, and what kind of role you will have in your family. Regard your stepchildren with the intention of loving them, even if you don’t love them yet. Learn to not take things personally, because most things that feel personal really are not. Do not dwell on the children’s mother, as that can only ever affect you, but never her. Finally, love your husband first. If you always approach him from a place of love, you will have productive and family supportive discussions.”

Thank you, Leah, for taking the time to educate us about your profession. Again, to learn more, stop by Leah’s website!

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