Comments on: Stop Reliving the Past http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/ Helping you find your purpose and navigate your quarter-life crisis in style Thu, 28 Aug 2008 09:33:09 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Believe It or Not | Semi-Charmed Wife http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-1684 Believe It or Not | Semi-Charmed Wife Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:28:07 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-1684 [...] but it takes a lot of work to change them. One method I’ve used with some success (and written about before) is affirmations. The way it works is that you write a positive affirmation to counteract each [...] […] but it takes a lot of work to change them. One method I’ve used with some success (and written about before) is affirmations. The way it works is that you write a positive affirmation to counteract each […]

]]> By: Self Esteem Week | Semi-Charmed Wife http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-567 Self Esteem Week | Semi-Charmed Wife Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:58:50 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-567 [...] topic of the day is forgiveness. In a previous post, I talked about my tendency to obsessively relive the past. Unfortunately, I don’t tend to [...] […] topic of the day is forgiveness. In a previous post, I talked about my tendency to obsessively relive the past. Unfortunately, I don’t tend to […]

]]> By: Clichés for Living | Semi-Charmed Wife http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-427 Clichés for Living | Semi-Charmed Wife Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:56:48 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-427 [...] done is done. Truer words were never spoken. I’ve written before about my tendency to relive the past over and over again, replaying my mistakes and faux pas on a constant loop in my imagination. [...] […] done is done. Truer words were never spoken. I’ve written before about my tendency to relive the past over and over again, replaying my mistakes and faux pas on a constant loop in my imagination. […]

]]> By: Avani http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-399 Avani Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:40:06 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-399 I used to go through this long time back. Realising what it was costing me was a huge trigger to find ways that work for me. Some that worked are : * Focussing on some other task so much that everything else fades away. * Believing that mulling over and getting sad is simply not worth it. * Having a huge list of things that make me happy on hand. Whenever I caught myself going down, I would apply all those activities. * I have also written about using words to change the way you feel at http://foodformind.wordpress.com/2008/04/07/how-do-your-words-make-you-feel/ I used to go through this long time back. Realising what it was costing me was a huge trigger to find ways that work for me.
Some that worked are :
* Focussing on some other task so much that everything else fades away.
* Believing that mulling over and getting sad is simply not worth it.
* Having a huge list of things that make me happy on hand. Whenever I caught myself going down, I would apply all those activities.
* I have also written about using words to change the way you feel at http://foodformind.wordpress.com/2008/04/07/how-do-your-words-make-you-feel/

]]> By: Aleta http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-392 Aleta Mon, 07 Apr 2008 16:06:08 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-392 I used to have issues with this, constantly going over and over an issue. From time to time it happens again. The best thing I did for myself was to say, "I cannot change the other person, but I can change myself." If for instance, I was in an argument with a friend and there wasn't anything I could do to get a point or situation across, I had to realize the person won't change, the situation won't change, but MY reaction COULD change. I guess it becomes a level of acceptance towards others but keeping "thine own self be true." I used to have issues with this, constantly going over and over an issue. From time to time it happens again. The best thing I did for myself was to say, “I cannot change the other person, but I can change myself.” If for instance, I was in an argument with a friend and there wasn’t anything I could do to get a point or situation across, I had to realize the person won’t change, the situation won’t change, but MY reaction COULD change. I guess it becomes a level of acceptance towards others but keeping “thine own self be true.”

]]> By: pinkblocks - personal power and self help » Blog Carnival of Personal Power April 6, 2008 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-389 pinkblocks - personal power and self help » Blog Carnival of Personal Power April 6, 2008 Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:48:41 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-389 [...] Wife presents Stop Reliving the Past posted at Semi-Charmed [...] […] Wife presents Stop Reliving the Past posted at Semi-Charmed […]

]]> By: We Are One World Healing » Carnival of Healing #132 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-387 We Are One World Healing » Carnival of Healing #132 Sun, 06 Apr 2008 02:46:19 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-387 [...] Wife presents Stop Reliving the Past. Another aspect of healing is to be in the bliss, and not dwell on negativity. This article is a [...] […] Wife presents Stop Reliving the Past. Another aspect of healing is to be in the bliss, and not dwell on negativity. This article is a […]

]]> By: Clare http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-369 Clare Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:09:32 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-369 When I read this article, it was like you had reached inside my brain and put my frustrations into words. I am up again early this morning because of an incident at work yesterday that upset me at the moment, but then stuck with me and I can't let go. The problem with these situations is that I can see my family dynamics playing out over and over again in my work relationships, and if I am really honest, almost every relationship I've encountered. I try hard to stop the inevitable, but I find myself being placed in the role of the outcast and realized last night that after working at a place for 15 months, I had not one person there I could trust. The few times that I have tried to confide in someone, it truly has come back to bite me! I have worked at places that I have had close friends at, but with so many women in the workplace, I have experienced the manipulating and undermining to pull themselves ahead. I am tired of the sleepless nights, and really tired of feeling that I need to be in self preservation mode constantly at work. Am I crazy or does anyone else understand what I am saying?? When I read this article, it was like you had reached inside my brain and put my frustrations into words. I am up again early this morning because of an incident at work yesterday that upset me at the moment, but then stuck with me and I can’t let go. The problem with these situations is that I can see my family dynamics playing out over and over again in my work relationships, and if I am really honest, almost every relationship I’ve encountered.
I try hard to stop the inevitable, but I find myself being placed in the role of the outcast and realized last night that after working at a place for 15 months, I had not one person there I could trust. The few times that I have tried to confide in someone, it truly has come back to bite me! I have worked at places that I have had close friends at, but with so many women in the workplace, I have experienced the manipulating and undermining to pull themselves ahead.
I am tired of the sleepless nights, and really tired of feeling that I need to be in self preservation mode constantly at work. Am I crazy or does anyone else understand what I am saying??

]]> By: Leah http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-345 Leah Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:14:38 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-345 I had a couple responses to this yesterday. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who does this. I think I'll try a few of these exercises, too! It could really help. Oh, did you relive your papers and exams in school? I drove myself crazy on that one! I had a couple responses to this yesterday. I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who does this.

I think I’ll try a few of these exercises, too! It could really help.

Oh, did you relive your papers and exams in school? I drove myself crazy on that one!

]]> By: Hope http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-342 Hope Wed, 02 Apr 2008 08:40:04 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-342 I have struggled with this...still do at times. There was one particular situation many years ago between my sister-in-law and I that really nagged at me. I could not let it go for anything in the world. It felt like the harder I tried to be nice, the more she tried to stir up trouble. And honestly, it literally took me YEARS to finally let go. It didn't happen until I experienced a mind-shift, where I told myself it didn't matter any more. I was in control of MY life, and SHE was in control of hers. And by allowing the confusion and drama to keep me in knots all the time, I was allowing HER to control ME. When I finally "got" that, I was able to totally let go of the situation. Great post! I have struggled with this…still do at times. There was one particular situation many years ago between my sister-in-law and I that really nagged at me. I could not let it go for anything in the world. It felt like the harder I tried to be nice, the more she tried to stir up trouble.

And honestly, it literally took me YEARS to finally let go. It didn’t happen until I experienced a mind-shift, where I told myself it didn’t matter any more. I was in control of MY life, and SHE was in control of hers. And by allowing the confusion and drama to keep me in knots all the time, I was allowing HER to control ME. When I finally “got” that, I was able to totally let go of the situation.

Great post!

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