Comments on: Stop Reliving the Past http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/ Helping you find your purpose and navigate your quarter-life crisis in style Fri, 12 Mar 2010 15:57:09 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Tanu http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-23276 Tanu Tue, 09 Mar 2010 14:15:38 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-23276 It amazed me as I read this post, its actually a relief to see that their are some people like me in this world... I feel its the strive to be perfect that makes me or most of us who have posted our views here go thru this painful process of reliving the past... I also keep thinking about some incidence that has hurt me especially when I know that I was fair in my place. Its happened between me and my mother-in- law a few times. When I realise that she has not been fair in her behaviour towards me or my husband, it kills me from within, I fret over it for days, fight with my own self as to what I did to deserve this, when I have been doing the best in my capacity for the family- emotionally, financially and mentally... This debate in my head seems invincible... And then I tell myself that there's nothing that I can do to change her, only thing I can do is try and live with this... For a matter of fact, I dont like everything abt my Mom/Sister/ best friend.. So its just human to not like everything that a person does... more important is that the person's intention is not wrong... Once has to learn to give the benefit of doubt to the other person... as not everyone would like everything about me either... So in the end, its about convincing your own self... Lately I read this quote and it helps me when I feel low- " The minute of think of giving up, Think of the reason why you held on for so long..." It amazed me as I read this post, its actually a relief to see that their are some people like me in this world… I feel its the strive to be perfect that makes me or most of us who have posted our views here go thru this painful process of reliving the past… I also keep thinking about some incidence that has hurt me especially when I know that I was fair in my place. Its happened between me and my mother-in- law a few times. When I realise that she has not been fair in her behaviour towards me or my husband, it kills me from within, I fret over it for days, fight with my own self as to what I did to deserve this, when I have been doing the best in my capacity for the family- emotionally, financially and mentally…

This debate in my head seems invincible… And then I tell myself that there’s nothing that I can do to change her, only thing I can do is try and live with this… For a matter of fact, I dont like everything abt my Mom/Sister/ best friend.. So its just human to not like everything that a person does… more important is that the person’s intention is not wrong… Once has to learn to give the benefit of doubt to the other person… as not everyone would like everything about me either… So in the end, its about convincing your own self… Lately I read this quote and it helps me when I feel low- ” The minute of think of giving up, Think of the reason why you held on for so long…”

]]> By: Believe It or Not | Semi-Charmed Wife http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-1684 Believe It or Not | Semi-Charmed Wife Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:28:07 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-1684 [...] but it takes a lot of work to change them. One method I’ve used with some success (and written about before) is affirmations. The way it works is that you write a positive affirmation to counteract each [...] […] but it takes a lot of work to change them. One method I’ve used with some success (and written about before) is affirmations. The way it works is that you write a positive affirmation to counteract each […]

]]> By: Self Esteem Week | Semi-Charmed Wife http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-567 Self Esteem Week | Semi-Charmed Wife Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:58:50 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-567 [...] topic of the day is forgiveness. In a previous post, I talked about my tendency to obsessively relive the past. Unfortunately, I don’t tend to [...] […] topic of the day is forgiveness. In a previous post, I talked about my tendency to obsessively relive the past. Unfortunately, I don’t tend to […]

]]> By: Clichés for Living | Semi-Charmed Wife http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-427 Clichés for Living | Semi-Charmed Wife Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:56:48 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-427 [...] done is done. Truer words were never spoken. I’ve written before about my tendency to relive the past over and over again, replaying my mistakes and faux pas on a constant loop in my imagination. [...] […] done is done. Truer words were never spoken. I’ve written before about my tendency to relive the past over and over again, replaying my mistakes and faux pas on a constant loop in my imagination. […]

]]> By: Avani http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-399 Avani Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:40:06 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-399 I used to go through this long time back. Realising what it was costing me was a huge trigger to find ways that work for me. Some that worked are : * Focussing on some other task so much that everything else fades away. * Believing that mulling over and getting sad is simply not worth it. * Having a huge list of things that make me happy on hand. Whenever I caught myself going down, I would apply all those activities. * I have also written about using words to change the way you feel at http://foodformind.wordpress.com/2008/04/07/how-do-your-words-make-you-feel/ I used to go through this long time back. Realising what it was costing me was a huge trigger to find ways that work for me.
Some that worked are :
* Focussing on some other task so much that everything else fades away.
* Believing that mulling over and getting sad is simply not worth it.
* Having a huge list of things that make me happy on hand. Whenever I caught myself going down, I would apply all those activities.
* I have also written about using words to change the way you feel at http://foodformind.wordpress.com/2008/04/07/how-do-your-words-make-you-feel/

]]> By: Aleta http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-392 Aleta Mon, 07 Apr 2008 16:06:08 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-392 I used to have issues with this, constantly going over and over an issue. From time to time it happens again. The best thing I did for myself was to say, "I cannot change the other person, but I can change myself." If for instance, I was in an argument with a friend and there wasn't anything I could do to get a point or situation across, I had to realize the person won't change, the situation won't change, but MY reaction COULD change. I guess it becomes a level of acceptance towards others but keeping "thine own self be true." I used to have issues with this, constantly going over and over an issue. From time to time it happens again. The best thing I did for myself was to say, “I cannot change the other person, but I can change myself.” If for instance, I was in an argument with a friend and there wasn’t anything I could do to get a point or situation across, I had to realize the person won’t change, the situation won’t change, but MY reaction COULD change. I guess it becomes a level of acceptance towards others but keeping “thine own self be true.”

]]> By: pinkblocks - personal power and self help » Blog Carnival of Personal Power April 6, 2008 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-389 pinkblocks - personal power and self help » Blog Carnival of Personal Power April 6, 2008 Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:48:41 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-389 [...] Wife presents Stop Reliving the Past posted at Semi-Charmed [...] […] Wife presents Stop Reliving the Past posted at Semi-Charmed […]

]]> By: We Are One World Healing » Carnival of Healing #132 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-387 We Are One World Healing » Carnival of Healing #132 Sun, 06 Apr 2008 02:46:19 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-387 [...] Wife presents Stop Reliving the Past. Another aspect of healing is to be in the bliss, and not dwell on negativity. This article is a [...] […] Wife presents Stop Reliving the Past. Another aspect of healing is to be in the bliss, and not dwell on negativity. This article is a […]

]]> By: Clare http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-369 Clare Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:09:32 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-369 When I read this article, it was like you had reached inside my brain and put my frustrations into words. I am up again early this morning because of an incident at work yesterday that upset me at the moment, but then stuck with me and I can't let go. The problem with these situations is that I can see my family dynamics playing out over and over again in my work relationships, and if I am really honest, almost every relationship I've encountered. I try hard to stop the inevitable, but I find myself being placed in the role of the outcast and realized last night that after working at a place for 15 months, I had not one person there I could trust. The few times that I have tried to confide in someone, it truly has come back to bite me! I have worked at places that I have had close friends at, but with so many women in the workplace, I have experienced the manipulating and undermining to pull themselves ahead. I am tired of the sleepless nights, and really tired of feeling that I need to be in self preservation mode constantly at work. Am I crazy or does anyone else understand what I am saying?? When I read this article, it was like you had reached inside my brain and put my frustrations into words. I am up again early this morning because of an incident at work yesterday that upset me at the moment, but then stuck with me and I can’t let go. The problem with these situations is that I can see my family dynamics playing out over and over again in my work relationships, and if I am really honest, almost every relationship I’ve encountered.
I try hard to stop the inevitable, but I find myself being placed in the role of the outcast and realized last night that after working at a place for 15 months, I had not one person there I could trust. The few times that I have tried to confide in someone, it truly has come back to bite me! I have worked at places that I have had close friends at, but with so many women in the workplace, I have experienced the manipulating and undermining to pull themselves ahead.
I am tired of the sleepless nights, and really tired of feeling that I need to be in self preservation mode constantly at work. Am I crazy or does anyone else understand what I am saying??

]]> By: Leah http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-345 Leah Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:14:38 +0000 http://semicharmedwife.com/2008/04/01/stop-reliving-the-past/#comment-345 I had a couple responses to this yesterday. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who does this. I think I'll try a few of these exercises, too! It could really help. Oh, did you relive your papers and exams in school? I drove myself crazy on that one! I had a couple responses to this yesterday. I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who does this.

I think I’ll try a few of these exercises, too! It could really help.

Oh, did you relive your papers and exams in school? I drove myself crazy on that one!

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