Today’s post is brought to you by the letter “T”–that’s right, the virtue of the day is Temperance. Sounds like a fun one, doesn’t it? Two things came to mind when I started writing this post: 1) Temperance Brennan, the main character of Bones, and 2) the Temperance Movement, which attempted to prohibit the production of alcohol and greatly reduce its consumption. (Yeah. That didn’t work so well.) The temperance we’re talking about, however, is neither a fictional forensic anthropologist nor Prohibition. We’re talking about moderation.

I found two definitions of temperance that I thought were appropriate: 1) moderation or self-restraint in action, statement, etc., self-control; and 2) habitual moderation in the indulgence of a natural appetite or passion. Temperance, then, is all about achieving balance in your life. It’s not about denying your appetites or passions, it’s about indulging them wisely. Of all the virtues we’ll explore, temperance is the one I personally struggle with the most. I’m a creature of extremes–on or off, hot or cold, wrong or right, black or white. Temperance is all about finding a nice healthy shade of grey.

How can we exercise temperance in our lives? Here are few points to consider:

• Self-control: Ah, if only there were a Spanx-type substitute for self-control, a control-top pantyhose for the willpower. Sadly, no such product exists so we’re left to struggle with our appetites on our own. I’m working to develop more self-control, but it’s so hard. My wily brain can always come up with an excuse to justify self-gratification. When I’m trying to cut down on empty calories, it’s “You had a hard day at work–you deserve a glass of wine!” When I’m contemplating having a second piece of birthday cake, it’s “Go ahead–it’s a special occasion!” I can come up with a million “reasons” to talk myself out of exercising self-control. I’m going to try keeping a self-control journal wherein I’ll track my successes (e.g., “Today I wanted to skip my run because it was cold, but I went anyway). I’ll be sure to let you know if it’s helpful.
• Discipline: Discipline requires self-control, but there’s more to it than that. A few definitions–training to act in accordance with rules; a regimen that develops or improves a skill; behavior in accordance with rules of conduct. So discipline not only requires self-control, but also training (i.e., repitition) and rules. For example, I’d like to be a competitive 10k runner. Exercising discipline would mean that I’d develop a regimen of running (training) that I would follow carefully (rules) every single day, even when I didn’t feel like it (self-control). Discipline is part of what would keep me from getting excited and over-training to the point of injury.
• Moderation: “Everything in moderation.” That was one of my grandfather’s favorite sayings. I think it’s especially relevant for women today. There’s so much pressure to push yourself to extremes. Don’t just eat healthy, be a vegetarian! Don’t just be a vegetarian, be a vegan! Don’t just be a vegan, be a raw foodist! The truth is (and hold on to your knickers here, internet) that nobody ever died of bacon. Chocolate cake has claimed no victims. Even habits that are considered inherently unhealthy (e.g., smoking) aren’t in and of themselves deadly. No, what kills us is our extremes. We don’t have bacon a few times a month, we have it for breakfast EVERY SINGLE DAY. We don’t have a nightly glass of wine, we abstain all week and then binge drink like maniacs on the weekends. We as a people are stricken with a myriad of addictions. Being a hot-or-cold kind of girl, moderation is incredibly difficult for me (I mean, seriously–who has ONE cookie?), but moderation is the key to a healthy, happy life.   
• Balance: Here’s another old chestnut for you–”All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” If you work too much, your family life will suffer. If you spend all your time with your family, you’ll lose your friendships. If you focus solely on your friends, you could hurt your marriage. Balance isn’t something you achieve and then you’re done with it, it’s something you have to make a conscious effort at every day. It’s trying to keep all those balls in the air while you’re riding around on the wobbly unicycle that is your life. It’s knowing when to say “no”, when to rest, when to let your hair down, and when to put your nose to the grindstone.

How do you practice temperance in your life? Do you have any suggestions for those of us who, like me, struggle with self-control and moderation?

Check out the forum for this week’s goals–I’m going with a Temperance theme! Anyone care to join me?

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