No, not rights–rites, as in rituals. Many of us have celebrated religious rituals for significant points in our lives (e.g., baptism, marriage, funerals, Confirmation, the bar/bat mitzvah). Non-religious rituals are fairly common too (e.g., a debutante’s “coming out”, celebrating a 21st birthday), but some milestones (e.g., births, coming of age) may not have a specific ritual if you don’t practice a religion or spiritual path. Whether we’re religious or not, many of us don’t seem to integrate rituals into our day-to-day existence, and that’s a shame. Rituals are an excellent way to communicate with our subconscious minds in the language they understand–symbolism.

Riding the high of my breakthrough earlier this week, I decided to perform a ritual yesterday for the first day of spring. It felt to me like the start of a new year, and I wanted to do something to commemorate it. The first thing I did was clean the house top to bottom–that’s right, spring cleaning. I wanted to capture the feeling of having a clean slate, and it felt like the right thing to do. Then, in the spirit of “spring planting”, I decided to plant some seeds. I picked a few things I’d like to accomplish over the next year and planted a seed for each one. Now, every time I see those plants, I’ll be reminded of what I’m working toward.

Cleaning the house and planting some seeds may not seem like much of a ritual. (Perhaps if I threw in a special robe, some incense, and an incantation or two?) A ritual doesn’t have to be elaborate or mystical or religious–it just needs to be intentional, as in done on purpose and charged with your specific intentions.

In addition to the first day of spring, you could take this approach with any holiday, special occasion, or natural/seasonal cycle and develop unique personal rituals for you and your loved ones. For example, instead of going out on Valentine’s Day, my husband always cooks a special meal for me. It’s a lovely ritual experience that I look forward to all year. And I’ve always loved the ritual of the Yule log, and I look forward to incorporating that into our Christmas celebration (as soon as we’re not living in a condo with no fireplace!). I’ve also been thinking a lot about what to do for my birthday–I’ll be turning 30 on May 28. Any suggestions for me? Do you have any unique seasonal or holiday rituals to share?

Here are some examples of other types rituals that could easily be incorporated your life whether you’re religious or not:

• This one should be pretty familiar to most of us from movies. Plagued by thoughts of an old boyfriend? Gather your photos and letters and mementos and burn them. It’s a visual and tangible way of releasing those feelings as the smoke spirals skyward.
• Take a moment or two to give thanks before you eat (whom you thank is up to you–Jesus, Allah, the farmer who grew the food, the person who cooked for you).
• When you get out of bed in the morning, take a moment and take three deep breaths. With each breath, focus on something you’d like to accomplish or embody that day and “breathe it in.”
• Just recovered from a long illness? Flush your no-longer-needed medication down the toilet and imagine the sickness and pain being washed away along with it. I did this after a hospital stay last year and it was really empowering!
• Every Sunday morning, have breakfast in bed with your partner.
• Are you a struggling writer like me? Try lighting a candle every time you sit down to write. Imagine that you’re kindling the fires of your creativity.
• After a stressful day at work, treat yourself to a ritual bath or shower. Light candles. Play soothing music. Relax and imagine the water soaking or rinsing your troubles away.

What everyday rituals do you practice (or would you like to practice)?

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