No, not the one with Paris and Nicole–your simple life. The life where you’re not caught in the rat race at work, scrambling to find time for yourself, battling stress and anxiety, and praying for the strength to get through one more day. That simple life. Looking around me at all the distractions and intrusions of modern life–my job, television, Blackberries, the Internet, cell phones, the media, the 2008 elections, housework, socializing, shopping, paying bills, etc.–simplicity seems not just out of reach but downright impossible. But simplifying one’s life is possible, and you don’t have to pull a Thoreau and run off to a cabin in the woods to do it.

Here’s the game plan:

• Figure out what matters most to you. What are your priorities? What is your purpose? What are your values? What is most important to you? 
  • My answer: The number one priority in my life is my marriage. Living my purpose (writing) comes in at a close second. My family and close friends would be third. My health and fitness would be fourth. I value learning, laughter, passion, balance, optimism, abundance, and healing. Hmmm… interesting. Money and my job are conspicuously absent from my answer but present in my worries…
• Develop a list of action items that support your priorities and are consistent with your values. In other words, what do you need to do to preserve the things that are the most important to your life and your happiness?
  • My answer: I will make time for my husband–maybe a regular date night? I will arrange my life so that I have time for writing every day. I will find ways to connect meaningfully with my family and friends–whether through visits, phone calls, or emails. I will ensure that I eat a healthy diet, engage in regular exercise, and get plenty of rest.
• Evaluate how you currently spend your time. Does the way you’re living your life line up with your priorities and values?
  • My answer: A resounding no. My current time expenditures for a typical work day break down like this–9 hours at work, 2-3 hours checking email/blogroll or surfing net, 3 - 4 non-work hours WORRYING about work or checking work email from home, 1/2 - 1 hour writing, about 1 hour with my husband, 0 - 1/2 hours exercising, 1-2 hours on social obligations, and 6-7 hours of sleep. Wow. I’m waaaaaaay off.
• Wherever possible, eliminate activities that do not support your priorities. Learn to use discretion and say no. Are there activities you could cut out of your life or scale back to leave more room for what really matters to you?
  • My answer: Well, I can’t eliminate my job–not yet, anyway. But I can cut back on the amount of emotional energy I expend and on the obsessive email checking and worrying. If I could do that, I’d reclaim an additional four hours of my day. I’ve done a pretty good job of scaling back my internet use, but I could easily gain another 1-2 hours there. I also need to monitor my social activities more closely. Instead of attending that work happy hour, I could have a nice dinner with a friend who’s having a tough week. I could trade the more shallow, casual events for more meaningful (but far fewer) interactions with friends. I’m definitely a “people-pleaser”–I want to say yes to everything!
• Be more judicious in your communications. Do you really need to take that work call after hours? Is it REALLY something that can’t wait until tomorrow? Do you need to respond to EVERY comment on your blog? Do you need to spend an hour every day on the phone with your BFF? Do you need to answer EVERY email (or Facebook message or IM or Myspace comment) you receive?
  • My answer: I’m really bad at managing communication. I already mentioned my habit of checking my work email every hour when I’m home. When someone sends me an email or comments on my blog, I feel a huge obligation to respond in kind. And I never turn off my cell phone–never! That means that I am always accessible–I mean, what if someone needs me?? But the truth is that I’m spending hours a day on communications that don’t line up with my priorities. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with screening phone calls and taking time to respond to emails (or not responding at all).
• Declutter your life. Start with the space you spend the most time in–your kitchen, your home office, your office office, the kids’ room. Every day, remove five things that either don’t belong in that space, don’t add any value, are threadbare or broken, haven’t been used in one year, and/or don’t make you happy. Once you’ve tackled that space, move to another. Apply this principle in other areas as well (your car, your purse, your Christmas card list, your email inbox, etc.).
  • My answer: I’m pretty merciless about purging my closet, but there are a few items I’ve been holding onto–I’m thinking of YOU, J.Crew suit I’ve had for five years and never worn because you’re too tight in the bum. I could also do a book purge–I have tons of cheap paperbacks that I could donate to Goodwill or the library or sell at a used book store. My car is in desperate need of a decluttering. My email inboxes–work and personal–are both in good shape because I answer EVERY email immediately. Nice to know that my OCD has a bright side!
• Create routines. Are mornings a mad rush to get lunches packed, clothes ironed, kids on the bus, and get yourself to work? Do you flop on the couch in front of Golden Girls reruns instead of doing something meaningful? Build a routine that manages these stressful times better.
  • My answer: Oh, I really need to do this. I’d love to have a morning routine of waking up at 5:00, writing for an hour, having breakfast, and getting ready for work. My after work routine would be a quick 10-minute meditation, 30 minutes of exercise, doing a quick once-over cleaning job, and getting dinner ready. My night routine would be packing my lunch, laying out clothes for the next day, and getting another hour of writing in. I need to start this ASAP!
• Do a people purge. Are there toxic people in your life that are sapping you of energy and time? Do you have friends that bring you down instead of lifting you up? Do you feel like your social network is too demanding?
  • My answer: Another big one for me. I can think of four or five people that I simultaneously dread seeing and feel obligated to see. Being with these people causes me a great deal of anxiety, but thinking about cutting them out of my life makes me feel horribly guilty. I need to start gradually pulling out of these relationships to leave more time and energy for the people I love.

I’m in the midst of a very stressful time, and I’ve been searching for ways to make things easier on myself. I’m anxious to implement these strategies and reap the benefits of living the Simple Life!

Where can you simplify?

Tags: simplify your life

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