It started when my alarm clock went off this morning–stomach churning, head crushing, gut wrenching anxiety. Why? Because I knew it was time to get up and get ready for work. My work situation is extraordinarily unpleasant and stressful, but I need to stick it out at least for another month or two. Unfortunately, that means that the anxiety is not going away any time soon and I’m going to have to find a healthy way to deal with it. In wondering how in the world I’m going to make it through the next couple of weeks, I remembered an article I once read about self-soothing.

The purpose of self-soothing is to provide emotional comfort by calming the mind and soothing jangled nerves through non-harmful actions. These actions are sensory experiences that allow you to focus your full attention on what you are physically experiencing in the moment. This withdraws your attention from troubling thoughts, feelings, and impulses. Self-soothing is useful not only for anxiety, but is also a powerful tool for battling cravings associated with addictive behaviors (e.g., binge eating, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, compulsive spending). And for parents, it’s great to teach self-soothing skills to children so that they manage anger, fear, anxiety, and hurt in healthy ways.

Here is a list of self-soothing behaviors that I’d like to try. I’m including both actions that can be done at work and actions that are more appropriate for home. Again, the purpose of these actions is not to solve your problem, but to find a healthy way to comfort yourself when you feel upset.

• Light a candle and watch the flame for a few moments. Focus your attention solely on the flame and release all other thoughts.
• Go for a walk and look for five beautiful things.
• Look at a beautiful piece of art (you can even do this online from your desk at work).
• Listen to nature sounds or calming music (or invigorating music, if you’re feeling lethargic). It might be best to focus on classical music without lyrics so that you don’t inadvertently internalize any negative messages.
• Practice aromatherapy.
• Apply a scented lotion.
• Take a luxurious bubble bath.
• Bake cookies or bread and let the smell fill your home (or visit a bakery).
• Have a soothing, non-alcoholic drink like hot chocolate, warm milk, or decaf tea.
• Eat mindfully. Focus on every bite you take and really TASTE your food.
• Cuddle with your significant other or a pet. Think about how wonderful it feels to touch and be touched.
• Get a massage.
• Soak your feet.
• Put a cold compress (or a warm one in the winter) on your forehead and lie down for a moment.

Do you have any self-soothing practices that calm you down when you’re feeling upset?

Tags: Emotions, Personal Development

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