(Cross-posted at BlogHer) 

Here’s part of my to-do list for the rest of the day: 1) Clear the queue of documents awaiting my revision and approval at work; 2) Attend an offsite work meeting this afternoon; 3) Go to the post office; 4) Clean the kitchen; 5) Fold laundry; 6) Pick up a birthday present for a friend. How am I supposed to sustain the motivation and laser-beam focus needed to achieve my goals while I’m scrubbing kitchen counters, let alone get my writing done?

And the thing is, I have it relatively easy. I don’t have kids. I have a pretty short commute. I’m not dealing with some of the insane external pressures that many of you face every day. But still, in any given 24-hour period, work eats up at least 9 hours of my day (on weekdays) and I have a number of errands and tasks and family/social commitments to take care of as well. With all that distraction, it’s difficult to maintain the single-minded focus necessary to pursue my goal of writing a novel.

So what’s a girl to do? Achieving a life goal requires single-minded dedication, but life pulls us in a million different directions and we become sort of… multi-minded? There’s certainly no quick and easy fix. But if you find yourself in the same situation, there are strategies you can use to maximize your focus and commitment. Superficial motivation isn’t good enough–you need to dig deep and allow your drive to succeed to permeate every level of your consciousness. There are four areas to focus on:

1. Physical - Every day, you should ensure that you are taking at least one concrete action in support of your goals. The more you can do every day, the better. Take a class on starting your own business. Sign up to take the LSAT. Work on your website. All these physical actions will direct your energy toward what you want to achieve. Another effective tactic is to surround yourself with objects, images, and words that reinforce what you’re trying to do.
2. Mental - I wrote yesterday about getting rid of my options. This is one strategy that’s particularly effective on the mental level. Taking away options also removes distractions and forces you to focus your mental energy solely on what you’re striving to achieve. If you can’t actually get rid of an option right now for financial or other reasons, set a deadline and make a commitment to someone else to get rid of the option at that time. It’s important to involve an outside party here–the mind can easily rationalize procrastination and fear.
3. Emotional - You need to deeply, passionately care about what you’re trying to do. “I want to start a business because I don’t want to work for anyone else” is not a good enough reason. It will not be enough to generate and maintain the level of commitment and enthusiasm required. You need to raise the stakes. Ask yourself why this particular goal is so important to you, and keep pushing until you find the answer. When the answer to that question brings tears to your eyes or makes you throw back your head and laugh, you’ll know you’re on the right track.
4. Spiritual - Not everyone is comfortable with the spiritual side of themselves, but I believe that we all have one nonetheless. It’s the part of you that feels like there’s something different about you, that something important and life-changing is waiting for you just around the corner. It’s the part of you that knows there must be something more than this semi-charmed life you’re living. It’s the part of you that needs to believe in what you’re doing. If you’re religious, spend some time in prayer asking for guidance. If you’re not, meditation, creative visualization, or automatic writing could be tools that you can use to do a spiritual check-up. The question you’re trying to answer: Is this goal aligned with my purpose and values?

It takes continual effort to maintain the fever pitch excitement that will carry you to the finish line, but taking the time to cultivate single-mindedness will help you stay on target.

(By the way, morning writing made Day 9 another success! Almost halfway there…)

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Day 8 and still going strong (writing in the morning works SO much better for me!)…

I like to keep my options open, don’t you? It’s good to have options–it feels great to have the freedom to change direction, do different things, take a new job, etc. But I’m beginning to think that having options isn’t that great for me. In fact, it might be what’s keeping me from achieving my goals.

Right now, for example, I have lots of options. I could stay in my current job as a consultant for the federal government. The money’s good and will only get better, and I love my coworkers. Sure, the job is stressful, but I’m never bored. I could ask my consulting company for a new assignment with one of our other clients. It would be the same type of work, but with new faces and a change of scenery. I could decide to go back to working directly for the government–you can’t beat the job security! Or I could start looking for jobs in the private sector in a field I’ve worked in before (defense, international trade, or business consulting) or in an entirely new area. No matter which option I ultimately choose, I’ll always find a way to squeeze in some writing, right?

But what if I didn’t have any choice but to make a living through my writing? What if were on my own and I didn’t have a job–no other way of generating income but to write? How motivated and focused would I be? How committed would I be to producing the best work of my life, then tirelessly marketing it to get it published? Pretty damn committed.

I think there will come a time when I’m going to have to take away my options. (This is the part where my stomach starts to hurt and visions of poverty dance through my head.) That’s right, at some point, I’m going to have to quit working and write full-time. Because I’m married and something like this needs to be a joint decision, I’ll have to negotiate some conditions with my husband. I, for one, would like to have all of my credit cards and private student loans paid off before I quit, and I’d like to have a working draft of my novel. Once I’ve met those two conditions (as long as my hubby’s in agreement, and I’m confident that he will be), I’m going to resign.

And that’s not all–I need to set a concrete deadline. Otherwise, I could procrastinate on paying my bills and take my sweet-ass time putting together a draft and stretch this process out for ten years. Unacceptable. So on May 28, 2009 , I’m going to quit my job and either write full-time or take a job that allows me more time to write (part time or summers off).

God, that’s terrifying.

What about you? What options could you take away to force you to achieve your goals?

This article was featured in the Personal Development Carnival–stop by to check out great articles on personal development.

My writing session this morning wrapped up Week One of my 21-Day Makeover.

My biggest challenge thus far has been how to cope with stress. It’s only Wednesday, and this week has already been the most stressful week since I started this job last February. I’m the point person on a high profile task that has millions of dollars and twenty project teams hanging in the balance. Every day, I have tense, combative interactions with people at the level of my boss’s boss’s boss. The last thing, and I mean the VERY LAST THING, I want to do after nine-plus hours of non-stop stress is sit down in front of a computer and write.

Making the transition from insanely anxious work mode to relaxed, free-flowing, creative mode has been difficult, to say the least. I just couldn’t seem to put work out of my mind, release the tension, and focus on writing. It took a herculean act of will to force myself to put in the time. It’s not that I dreaded writing, it’s that my head hurt, I was stressed and irritable, I was exhausted, and my brain needed rest. While I’m proud of the fact that I exercised my self-discipline muscles and stuck to my plan, I don’t want pursuing my LIFE DREAM to be this torturous. 

Me being me, I (of course) over-analyze every feeling I have and action I take. Does this mean that I don’t really want to be a writer, or worse, that I’m just not cut out for it? Does it mean that I should wait until I can quit my stupid stressful job and try writing full-time? Does it mean that I’m weak and I can’t take the pressure?

After wasting a lot of time asking myself all these questions, it occurred to me that what all this might mean is that I need to keep on WRITING IN THE MORNING.

Sigh. I drive me crazy.

The whole hero issue is very interesting to me. For some reason, as I was doing this writing exercise yesterday, I felt like such a… I don’t know, a failure on some level for not having a hero. I have a suspicion that I transferred my anxiety and insecurity about the quality of my writing and my ability to finish a novel onto the idea that I didn’t have a hero. Et voila! Instant existential crisis.

The comments you left were very thought-provoking. Princess Extraordinaire, Sister Honey Bunch, Very Bad Cat, Jane, and Leah highlighted friends and family as the everyday heroes that sustain and inspire us when it really counts. That rang true with me. When I look around me, I see a lot of amazing people. My dad, who–through years of hard work and (gasp!) therapy–transformed himself from an angry, intolerable person to a devoted and loving father. My mom, who has been through four bouts with breast and lymph cancer and has more energy in her little finger than I have in my entire body. My husband, who puts me first in every single thing he does. My sister, who is the most loving and attentive mother I’ve ever seen. All heroes. Like Zandria I think I don’t have a single hero, but rather I draw inspiration from many people.

On the other hand, Wendy and Amanda weren’t that enamored with the whole notion of a “hero”. That makes sense to me, too. There’s something a little bit uncomfortable about sticking that label on someone. For one thing, if they’re the hero, what am I? The hero-worshipper? The hero wannabe?

Sister Honey Bunch’s comment on the dearth of heroes really struck a chord with me.

You know what I think the problem is? Before celebrities became such public freaks like Britney, Lindsey, Paris, etc. there was much more media coverage of really amazing sports figures, people who did good works (Mother T.), people who worked for change (MLK). We don’t get that as much. It doesn’t sell.

I never thought about that, but it makes perfect sense. What public figures are there for us to identify with as heroes (focusing on the mainstream media here)? Why don’t our modern Mother Theresas make headlines? Why is Britney Spears’ latest pantiless adventure so mesmerizing? The media’s focus on the negative is so… depressing.

All is not lost, though–there are many great heroes out there! Check out this website–I think I’ll read about a different hero every day, just to remind myself of all the amazing people doing wonderful things around the world. Hero of the day:  Pax.  

I just experienced a somewhat jarring realization. I don’t think I have a hero.*

I was doing a writing exercise for Day 6 of my 21-Day journey. The exercise was focused on character development, and it required you to make a list of your heroes. I couldn’t think of one. After fifteen minutes of staring at an infuriatingly blank page and growing increasingly frustrated, I scribbled down “Einstein” and stalked away from my desk in disgust.

I mean, what’s wrong with me? How did I get to the age of almost 30 (May 28, thanks for asking) without having at least one or two heroes? Is it arrogance? Have I placed myself so high in my own estimation that there’s no one left to look up to? Is it self-absorption? Perhaps I’m unable to escape my own fears, anxieties, and neuroses long enough to actually appreciate another human being.

And… Einstein? Where the hell did that come from?

It got worse from there. I’m kind of embarrassed to write this, but I’m going to soldier on. I decided that I needed more variety on my list, so I strained and struggled to come up with another name or two to work with. My choices? Oprah and Helen Keller.

I know.

There’s nothing wrong with Oprah and Helen Keller–I’m sure they’re very heroic, but 1) I know very little about either of them (other than the obvious); 2) they don’t particularly inspire me; and 3) it seems like such a cliche.

It seems sad to me that I don’t have a real hero. So now I want to steal yours (I kid, I kid… kind of). Who is your hero? Who do you look up to? Who inspires you?

* I’m using the term hero throughout because it’s just to frustrating to type hero/ine every time. When I say “hero”, I’m referring to both men and women.