Feb 26 2008
When Life Squirts Lemon Juice in Your Eye…
… make lemonade. Or, in my case, cry about it, b*tch to your husband, throw a minor tantrum, melodramatically insist that you cannot go on another day, grudgingly accept your circumstances, and make some damn lemonade. With Splenda, because you haven’t been working out lately.
I am officially having ONE OF THOSE WEEKS. My job is… oh, where to start? Ah. Completely frigging miserable. It is preposterously stressful, contentious, combative, and frustrating. My husband is applying for jobs in another city, so there’s a chance I’ll be able to quit soon, but I can’t really start applying for other jobs because I don’t know how long we’ll be in the area. So I’m trapped for the moment. Then one of my friends did something incredibly selfish and hurtful. She’s completely unapologetic, which makes it even harder to get over. My weekends are booked from now through April and I feel like I never have any time. Something is going on with my website–I can’t get the forums working and I have to write my posts in HTML. And on top of everything, my husband has had to travel a lot for work lately. He’s out of town right now and thus unable to tell me that I need CALM THE HELL DOWN.
Deep breath.
OK, I think I’m done whining now. But seriously, what should we do when it seems like everything is going wrong? Is there any way to make it easier on ourselves? Here are some strategies I’m going to try:
- Recognize that you are in control of your life. Even though it may feel like I’m trapped, I’m truly not. I could walk up to my boss right now and quit and there’s nothing that anyone could do to stop me. I am consciously making the choice to continue in this job. Owning that choice somehow makes all the B.S. easier to bear. Check out Frugal Dad’s great article on choice for more on this topic.
- Be grateful. I am so fortunate. I have a wonderful, supportive husband who believes in me. I have a wonderful family–including an adorable niece who turns one in a few weeks. I have awesome friends. I know what I want to do with my life and I’m working toward it. I have a job that pays well, and I love my boss and coworkers (the client, on the other hand, NOT SO MUCH). Wow. Even just writing this paragraph has hugely improved my mood.
- Practice letting go. I have no ability to control the INSANE behavior of my client. I can’t make my friend apologize for being inconsiderate. I have no power to change the mysterious inner workings of my website (I leave that to my husband). I can’t change these things, so I may as well let them go and focus on what I can change. I can change my attitude. I can change my reactions. I can change my environment. I can change how I cope with stress. If you can’t change it, let it go.
- Stop complaining. For the last week or so, I’ve spent a few hours every day complaining about work. What does this do? It reinforces the negative feelings I already have and focuses my attention on everything that’s going WRONG instead of enjoying the things that are going RIGHT. This does me absolutely no good.
Seriously. Just writing this post has made me feel a thousand times better–I can’t imagine what an improvement I will feel from actually implementing these suggestions!
For those who would like to participate in the Weekly Goal Support Group (my husband hopes to have the forums up and running tonight), stop by the original post to leave a comment and post your goals or let us know how you’re doing so far this week. And I’ve successfully completed 20 days of my 21-Day Makeover–tomorrow is the final day!
This post was included in The Next 45 Years Personal Development Carnival–check out the other great entries!
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{{{HUGS!!!}}} for the stress. I once had a job where I would get into my car, drive away from it, and scream at the top of my lungs. That helped.
Envision your life the way you want it to be and you will draw it to you. Both my husband and I have been where you are. Now we are in a calmer world and we thrive on it. I wish you the best!!!
Your friend, JJ
I’m so sorry you’ve had such an awful week! But I love how optimistic you are, and how grateful you are for what you have. (I must say I’m looking forward to February being over!)
I had a horrid day. I am glad I am not the only one because I am shallow like that. You have a way better attitude than I do. I am going to try to model myself after you.
Oy, that sucks! I’m feeling similar this week, but the problem is that I am grateful, and it’s still not working. But, I’m also very headachy today, so that doesn’t help.
What I have discovered that works very well with my part time job is total apathy. Of course I’m sweet to my customers for the most part, but when my non-English speaking boss starts to get a bee in his bonnet, I just ignore it. You know what? If he decides to fire me, he will. There’s nothing I can do about that (he fires people willy nilly because he actually knows next to nothing about owning a bar, and refuses to even visit other bars to see how awesome his bartending staff actually is), so I might as well make the most of it while I’m there. We have a meeting every few months, and no new information has been shared yet, so while other people get angry about what he says (most of it ridiculous, complains to us about the cost of flour going up, like that has anything to do with the job we do), I just sit through it quietly and wait for it to be over.
So if you can fit any of that into your day, go for it! I can’t really do it in my full time job, because I really do work for a great company. I’m just struggling with how UNhappy I’ve become doing what I’m doing, and then I get home and have no energy to work on what can make me happy. It’s been very frustrating this week, to be sure.
Thanks for the mention. You’re right, sometimes just getting it off our chest via a blog post can be therapeutic! There are days when I write because I’m inspired, or want to inspire. There are other days when I write to vent or share some frustration with my readers. Strangely enough, you guys have been a very good sounding board!
These are excellent tips on how to deal with stress, and well, life in general. Hope you’re taking deep breaths too
Hello, I can totally understand what you are going through. I’ve been through many of these episodes myself.
I’ve come to learn this important point: if there is nothing that you can do about the situation, then do nothing.
If you find that you cannot keep your mind still, then take up a small project or something else to do to keep yourself mentally distracted. The idea is that you do not want to dwell on negative thoughts, so that you can keep your vibrations high.
The tide will turn and soon things will become clear. When it is time to take action, spring forward instantly!
[…] When Life Squirts Lemon Juice in Your Eye… by Jen Schiller […]
Life can be tough at times. Here you will find excellent tips on how to get through the rough patch.