Feb 20 2008
Think Big!
A few days ago, I was talking to a friend who’s in the throes of a particularly nasty quarter-life crisis. She doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up (she’s 28), she has no idea what her purpose is, and she feels completely paralyzed. She asked me if I know what I want to do with my life. “Yes,” I told her, “I’m going to be a bestselling novelist.” She paused (a long pause, I might add) and said, “Don’t you think you’re setting your sights too high? I mean, shouldn’t you start with a short story or a magazine article?”
Um… Hell, no!
I don’t fault my friend for not being supportive. For one thing, she’s going through a very tough time right now, and for another, most people are terrified of big goals. Think about it. Wouldn’t you be a bit taken aback if your neighbor told you with a straight face that she was going to find a cure for cancer, or win the Boston Marathon, or become an astronaut, or be an Oscar-winning director? Your response might start with “Yeeeeaaaaah, but…” I’m guilty of doing this, too. Why are we so quick to discount the dreams of “ordinary” people?
Here’s the thing–no one is a born virtuoso. It’s all of matter of exposure, opportunity, and hard work. When I say exposure, I mean to ask–what would Mozart have become if no one had ever shown him a piano? What would Martin Scorsese be if he had never seen a movie? At some point, you have to be exposed to something that ignites your passion. This is why it’s so important to make a diligent effort to find your purpose–it might be something you’ve never been exposed to, and you won’t find it if you don’t look.
As for opportunity and hard work, the two go hand in hand. Remember Jewel, the singer? Lucky girl, right? Probably had a pretty nice life since she made it big in the late 90s. Well, it didn’t start out that way. She grew up in Alaska in a house with no indoor plumbing (outhouse in Alaska? Brrr!). In high school, she learned to yodel and play guitar, and she started writing songs at 17. For a few years, she lived in her van doing street performances and playing small clubs. But she kept putting herself out there, creating opportunities to get noticed, and working hard, and you know what? She made it. I bet her high school classmates laughed their asses off when she said she was going to be a famous singer one day. I bet they’re not laughing now.
So go ahead, think big. Set your sights as high as you can dream. What’s your impossibly huge goal? Leave a comment & let me know–I promise, I won’t laugh.
Day 14 is done–one week to go!
This post was included in the Personal Development Carnival at The Next 45 Years. Stop by to check out all the great articles!
Did you enjoy this article? Digg it!
Awesome post!! And I feel for your friend. I was there about a year and a half ago. My best advice for her is to pay attention to what peaks her interest, keep a notebook if she has to. I realized my big goal almost by accident. I had seen the career of coaching a long time ago and thought it was interesting, but had nowhere to apply it in my life. Later, when I became actively involved in a Stepmom chat room, I realized that I really had a knack for helping these girls. I have a great gift for what I have finally decided to call a 360 perspective. I don’t just look at the what, I seek the why and how it came to be, meaning I don’t just look at someone’s action, but I try to figure out what got them to that point, where were they coming from, etc.
So, I started thinking that maybe I should get back to school to become a counselor for blended families. A few days later, I saw an ad for a stepfamily coach. I contacted her immediately and told her that’s what I wanted to do. She gave me some advice and sent me on my way. Just a few weeks later, I discovered the website for a coach training institute. I clicked on it, and there was a pop up for a weekend event right in my hometown. I couldn’t pass it up for the price, so I went. I ended up spending all that I had saved so far for my wedding on joining the program, and haven’t looked back since.
I am a Personal Life Coach. I help people achieve their goals in attainable steps, I listen, I support, and I congratulate them. I help them discover what they want and what they don’t want, and I guide them in getting more of the former and less of the latter.
I get strange looks. It sounds like an airy fairy career. But the people I have helped so far are strong believers now in the power of coaching. Really, I simply facilitate them in opening the doors in their own head to see what they are missing or hiding from themselves, or afraid to say out loud. I create a safe environment to dream, but then I ask for action towards that dream. It really is incredible.
Thanks for letting me share! And sorry for such a long comment! You got me all excited.
Oh! And I earned the wedding money back, and still got married without going a dime into debt over the wedding.
At some point Jewel went to Interlochen Arts Academy in my neck of the woods, a pricey school but she could have been on a scholorship. But I don’t doubt she was a starving artist.
JimmyEW has started writing some poetry and discovered his favorite poet who is a Poet Lauriate (sp?) but didn’t start pursuing his career until his 50’s. Before that he was an insurance sales man. And we’ve all seen the youtube British Pop Idol cell phone sales guy.
Someone has to write a noval, why not you?
Btw, I don’t have your email after all. Email me
sistersassyblogger@gmail.com. I have SO many ideas!! Yay!
Well at the risk of sounding like a copy catter I want to write a novel too. That has always been my big dream.
When I was in my teens, I wanted to be a mother.
When I was in my 20’s and was a mother of 3, I wanted to be someone who had a career.
When I was in my 30’s and had a career, I wanted to go to college.
When I was in my 40’s and was in college, I wanted to run away from home.
Now that I am in my 50’s and all my children are grown and gone away, I live in an RV and work at campgrounds. I really really want to work for the National Park Service in some capacity at the Grand Canyon. I am looking for ways to make it happen almost daily.
You have to have a dream, and you have to follow that dream for it to become reality. I don’t know yet what I’ll want to do when I’m in my 60’s.
I really loved this line in your post:
“This is why it’s so important to make a diligent effort to find your purpose–it might be something you’ve never been exposed to, and you won’t find it if you don’t look.”
That is SO TRUE. I think I’ve been going through the same quarterlife crisis as your friend since my early 20s. One of these days I’ll figure out what I want to do, but first I have to keep putting myself out there to discover WHAT that is!
[…] Wife presents Think Big! posted at Semi-Charmed Wife. Has anyone ever told you that your dreams are too big? Don’t buy […]
There is a line in the movie Rudy that I remembered while reading your post. “Having dreams is what makes life tolerable.” So true. When the chips are down it’s nice to have our dreams to hold on to, even if their achievement seems impossible to others. Your message, “Think Big” is a great one!
I want to say thank you. I am 25 and currently on the verge of breaking free of my crisis. I stumbled on to your site, from a new yahoo link called Shine. I click the link, scrolled down the page, until a stumbled across your article “How to Find the Right Job”. After reading and feeling inspired, I clicked the link to your site and I just cannot stop reading. I was feeling defeated today, and now I feel empowered to make my big dreams come true. I have always been a believer in the philosophy that anything can happen if you put your mind to it. Thank you, for your encouraging words and great advice.