Feb 08 2008
Day Two, or “Man, can I ever procrastinate”
Wow. Talk about RESISTANCE. I did NOT want to do my hour of writing today, no ma’am, I did not. Every time I sat down to write, I would be stricken with the sudden conviction that I needed to rewrite a document for work!!! Right now!!! Or I’d decide that, you know what?, I’m feeling a bit peckish. Time for a snack. Or I’d have to use the bathroom. Or I’d be overwhelmed by the need to answer EVERY OUTSTANDING EMAIL in my inbox. Or to check all my daily blogs again just in case they posted something that I really urgently needed to know.
So what H-E-double hockey sticks is going on? I mean, no one is making me do this. I desperately want to write a novel. I’m dying to write for a living. I’m living and breathing for the moment I walk into Borders and see my book, right there next to all the Stephen Kings and J.K. Rowlings. Why am I so resistant to actually doing it???
Deep breath.
I know the answer to this question. It’s fear. Fear, fear, stupid cowardly fear. Thinking and daydreaming about being a novelist isn’t dangerous. It’s very safe. But actually doing it? Well, let’s not get crazy. What if no one wants to be my agent? What if no publishers want to publish my work? What if no one reads it and I singlehandedly bankrupt Random House with my disaster of a book? What if Hollywood never wants to make it into a movie? What if…
Yes, to answer your question, I do in fact realize how ridiculous it sounds to worry–actual stomach-churning anxiety–about how my phantom book will do when I haven’t even written it yet.
That’s why, at 3:00pm this afternoon, I rolled up my sleeves and did my hour. And you know what? It felt GREAT!
(Hopefully, I’ll be back tomorrow with a Day Three update, but my hubby will be working on my site and I may not be able to post.)
